These Little Earthquakes
by iddyboo
Summary: This is my first attempt at Fanfic. I am a huge fan of Law and Order:SVU and am in love with the characters Elliot and Olivia. This story begins in 2009 before Elliot's departure. It will explore the depths of each character and may or may not end up EO. The title is a Tory Amos song. It symbolizes how life break us, flaw us, makes us who we are, yet allows us to heal.
1. Chapter 1

These Little Earthquakes

A FanFic by Iddyboo

Disclaimer: The story is mine but the characters are his. All Characters in this Fanfic associated with Law and Order: SVU belong to Dick Wolfe. The other characters are my creation and the story is from my crazy little mind. The story is set around the end of 2009. Possible EO, possibly not but hopefully you will enjoy! Please review and let me know your thoughts.

Chapter 1-

She awoke to a loud clap of thunder, '1,001, 1,002, 1,003' she thought, and lightening bolts lit up the sky. "Well that's less than a mile away," she whispered, remembering what her college professor told her in Environmental Geology. God that was so long ago, when she had her head in the clouds. He was much older than she but he was gorgeous. He was earthy and carefree, whimsical, with such style. She had taken that class to get to know him better. "Yes, I love geology and the environment so this class is perfect," she told her admissions counselor at Siena College. But nothing about Olivia's life was whimsical and like every other relationship in years to come, about all she got out of the class was a broken heart, a pregnancy scare and how to tell the distance of lightening!

Olivia was awake now, as she picked up her cell. "Fucking 2 a.m.!" She knew she had a long day ahead of her and sleep was much needed, however she was not going to be one with the sandman tonight. After getting up and going to the bathroom, she paused to look at the hot mess she was. "Benson, Benson, Benson, what the hell are you doing with yourself?" Her chestnut hair was just pulled into a rubber band mass of half up, half down, with that fresh tossed and turned, not in a good way, look. Her big brown eyes look more sunken in these days and as she examines her flaws in the mirror, she begins thinking of the recent cases that have helped accentuate her imperfections. She shook her self a little more awake and padded off to the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator to examine the half-gallon of milk with an expiration date of last week, one egg, and a take out box that she didn't recall at all. She shut the door and prayed she still had some tea bags. Olivia loved her teas, although her preferences changed depending on the time of day and her level of stress. She opened the cabinet just as her phone began to ring.

"Benson", yes, Cap. Ok, already at Mercy, ok, no I'll call him." She dialed that familiar number she's dialed a million times. The voice that answered was one that hit her deep in her core; she adored this man with everything she had, although she always remained professional. Oh if he knew the thoughts that went through her mind, what would he think? "Stabler", he answered half asleep. He sounded sexy when he was half asleep. "El, we have a case, vic is at Mercy. I will be there in 15 to get you." "Yep", he said, _so sexy_. Olivia got dressed and took one last look in the mirror "Keep it together Benson, its just too soon to tell him how you feel, don't let you heart get over your head." A pep talk she had been giving herself since his divorce 6 months earlier.

Elliot was complex to say the least. He was a mass of muscle and brawn but could deal with the youngest and most timid of victims. He was a father of 5, and the cases he and Olivia dealt with on the daily made his skin crawl. He would have loved nothing more that to bash each perps head in and let swift justice be done, but the judicial system wasn't to keen on the idea. Over the years, Elliot had many run in's with the IAB and Lieutenant Ed Tucker and as of late, Olivia found it her role to keep him in line.

The rain was lapping at the windshield at a rate the windshield wipers couldn't keep up with. As she pulled up to Elliot's building, she saw him run out with his jacket over his head. As he climbed in the passenger side, he gave a deep exhale. "Hell of a night to get called out, I thought Fin and Munch were catching?" "They are on another call," Olivia chimed in. "Well, what do we got?" "Teenager, found her in an alley, unconscious, half naked last thing she remembers was being at a friend of a friends party. Parents are out of town and Grandmother is on her way." The victim was 15 year-old Laura. A high school friend Ashlynn invited her to a party. Although she did not know whose house they were going to, Laura felt like she could trust her friend Ashlynn. Laura said the last thing she remembered was grabbing a coke from the ice chest and asking Ashlynn to hold it for her when she ran to the bathroom. She vaguely remembers exiting the bathroom before the floor started spinning. Elliot was watching how Olivia questioned Laura, how much compassion she has for the young frightened girl. What he had to work through in his mind just came naturally to Liv. _Liv,_ he thought _, god what I wouldn't give to_. "El, were all finished here. Her grandmother is staying with her here for the night. I gave Laura my card in case she remembers anything else."

"Where is this Ashlynn friend?"

"Not sure, but I have her number and tried to call several times, nothing."

The rain had been relentless through the drive to the station. The two detectives ran in shielding their heads through the downpour. "Remind me to invest in a dozen more umbrellas, we seem to keep losing them all over the city." As the elevators opened, they came into a deserted precinct. "I'm going to get out of these wet clothes El, then I'll make some coffee, ok?" "Yep, no problem, I'll get started on the paperwork."

As she made her way to the cribs, Liv did not look back to see El watching her every move. He loved her with every ounce of his body but it was just too soon to tell her. He did not want to scare her away or ruin their partnership that had been established all those years ago.

Liv grabbed her extra clothes she kept for emergencies and headed to the showers. She was freezing. She turned on the hot water and climbed in. As the hot steam warmed her she was taken back to another time, a time when she thought she was going to have it all…


	2. Chapter 2

These Little Earthquakes

A FanFic by Iddyboo

Disclaimer: The story is mine but the characters are his. All Characters in this Fanfic associated with Law and Order: SVU belong to Dick Wolf. The other characters are my creation and the story is from my crazy little mind. The story is set around the end of 2009. Possible EO, possibly not but hopefully you will enjoy! Please review and let me know your thoughts. Special Thanks to MALove17 for being my beta showing this old girl how to post on FF!

Chapter 2-

Olivia thought of the teenage girl she had just spoken with, remembering her 15 year-old self. Olivia was always made well aware of she came into this world and her mother was not a forgiving woman. Olivia knew that if she were ever going to amount to anything, she would have to make it on her own. She moved, rather, ran out at 16 when she was just out of high school, getting her first apartment with her friend Savannah and Savannah's mom Lisa. The girls were inseparable. Olivia was quiet and into sports while Savannah was outgoing and loud. Savannah had a thing for foreign cultures and would ask her mom to cook various foods in order to embrace the culture she was into at the time. The three women did not have an easy road but they made the best of it.

Olivia had relationships with boys here and there, but this one was different, he was a man. She saw him from a distance, long hair, carefree style and very hip. As she passed by, looking like she was lost. "Hey can I help you with something? I'm Professor Neal, but please, call me Thomas, " he said.

"I was just looking for the admissions building."

"Ah, I see, a newbie! What's your major?"

"Undecided!"

"Well I teach Environmental Geology so if you're interested in rocks, sediments, climate, weather, you get the picture…just let me know!"

Olivia let out a giggle that she could not take back. Ugh, I'm a nightmare, she thought. That was ridiculous, " _oh, I'm a little school girl..blah,"_ Olivia thought. Once she headed to the admissions office and spoke with her counselor, she ended up in Professor Neal's, correction, Thomas' class. Over the semester Olivia flirted, he flirted back and before she knew it, she was in his bed. Once the semester was over, however, she was in her bathroom, cursing herself for her possible predicament awaiting the plus or minus sign.

"Hey Liv, you ok in there?" "Yeah, I'll be right out El." Olivia didn't realize she was so deep in thought, she had been in the shower over 20 minutes and Elliot wanted to make sure she was ok. He cared for her deeply but with his previous issues, responsibilities and recent divorce, he wasn't sure if he deserved her or wanted to complicate her life.

Olivia came down from the cribs dressed in some black pants and an NYPD t-shirt. He loved those shirts. Her hair was towel dried. "You want some coffee El…El, coffee?" Elliot was in deep thought; he looked at Olivia and nodded yes. "Cat got your tongue," Olivia asked. Elliot let out a chuckle, "No, no, I'm ok, just thinking. Liv, have you ever wanted something more. Like out of life? Do you ever fell stagnant, like something is missing?" "El, I'm a 41 year old, single woman, who works sex crimes. I live alone; I don't even have a cat! Of course I want something more! I want to have a family someday, I want to be a mom, I want to experience going home to someone that loves me and wants me to come home each night. I want someone who calls me during the day just to say he loves me. Someone to sing a lullaby to" she smiled. "Hey don't you have a birthday coming up?" "Gee thanks El, tick tock, tick tock!" "Well is there someone you have an eye on?" _please be me, please be me…_ "NO."

"I just saying that it seems a little fishy that the mother was not home for 20 minutes and this happened." Fin and Munch entered the precinct and as usual Munch had some conspiracy theory flying out of his mouth. "Munch look, I don't make the rules, I just follow em'. I can't say how or why it happened, all we can do is stick with the facts."

"Boys, boys," Olivia piped in. "Hey there is fresh coffee, if you're interested." "And it was made CORRECTLY, Munch," Elliot chimed in. Fin went to get a cup and Munch sat down to begin completing paperwork. "So what are you two love birds up to tonight?" "Munch, stop!" said Olivia. Munch had a running bet with Fin that once Elliot was divorced, he would step up to the plate and tell Olivia his true feelings. Fin, on the other hand, thought Elliot didn't have the balls to tell her. This was a topic of conversation for the two male detectives many a-day.

"We got called on a case. Since it was so late, we just came here to get paperwork done and get ready for the day," stated Elliot. "You know 'no rest for the weary," Olivia piped in. It was nearing 6 a.m.; officers and detectives were beginning to make their way in to the station. Many of them wet from the rain that was still pounding the pavement. It was November and it was normally much colder this time of year. New York had not seen its normal harsh winter just yet, although the weather man said to be prepared, its coming! The holidays were around the corner but neither Olivia nor Elliot felt much like celebrating.

This was the first holiday season Elliot will spend away from his kids. Kathy is heading to her parents for Thanksgiving and staying through the New Year. Elliot went undercover to investigate a crime that involved murder and exotic animal smuggling and that was the final straw for Kathy. The couple had been married for years but grown apart. Kathy wanted Elliot to quit the job, the crimes and Olivia. She did not think anything was ever going on, but she was not happy with the amount of time Elliot and Olivia spent together, nor the conversations she began NOT having with Elliot. He was distant, robotic in nature. Kathy saw the job getting to him but he would never listen to her or talk about the job at home.

Kathy felt abandoned when she needed him the most. Although Elliot was a wonderful father, he had become a lousy husband over the last few years. Kathy knew the job had hold of him and rather than give him an ultimatum, she graciously bowed out. If you can call filing for divorce just after Christmas and spending 6 months negotiating Eli's custody, gracious! Just after filing, Elliot moved in with Maureen for a couple of weeks before finding an apartment close to work and Kathy in order to get Eli on his visitation weekends. It was a small apartment with simple accommodations but it was all Elliot needed. He loved his kids with all his heart and would die for them. Eli would be 2 in a week and loved go to the "pork", as he called it. Elliot would take Eli to the park on his off days and play for hours. Eli made Elliot feel alive again. His older children were working on their own lives. Maureen was a nurse and Kathleen was in school to become a counselor. Since her own issues, she felt passionate about helping others come to terms with their diagnosis and understand treatment and keeping up with it. Let them know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The twins were in high school and into their friends, having fun, working and planning for college. Eli still needed Elliot and that made Elliot happy.

"Hey Team, can you come into my office please?" Cragen had gotten to work only to discover his teams' court cases they were preparing for had been rescheduled. "I want you four to take a break today and enjoy some time off. Court was delayed until Wednesday and I know you all have been working very hard."

"Thanks Cap!" they said in unison. "Hey Liv, you want to grab some breakfast or do you need to go home to feed your cat?"

"You're an ass!" …


	3. Chapter 3

These Little Earthquakes

A FanFic by Iddyboo

Disclaimer: The story is mine but the characters are his. All Characters in this Fanfic associated with Law and Order: SVU belong to Dick Wolf. The other characters are my creation and the story is from my crazy little mind. The story is set around the end of 2009. Possible EO, possibly not but hopefully you will enjoy! Please review and let me know your thoughts. Special Thanks to MALove17 for being my beta showing this old girl how to post on FF!

Lyrics from Tori Amos' Little Earthquakes- I love this song and it really makes me understand how we are damaged and healed.

Chapter 3-

Olivia awoke the next morning feeling as though a Mack truck had hit her. She made a call to Cragen and informed him she would not be in. Olivia NEVER missed work so the Captain knew she felt bad. Elliot had not made it in yet. He decided to call Kathy the day before and ask if he could come by and take Eli for an ice cream. Eli was in a clingy mood and wanted his dad. He ended up spending the night with Elliot. When he walked into the squad room he expected to find Olivia, Fin and Munch as normal. "Good morning sunshine," Munch exclaimed, "You look happy, did you finally cave and tell Olivia your true feelings?" "Ha, you got jokes this early huh," Elliot said. "Where's Liv?"

"Sick!"

"What's wrong with her?"

"Flu"

Olivia was at home resting on her couch. She thought back to a few days ago when Elliot was asking her if she ever wanted more. All her life Olivia wanted more. When she was a child, she wanted to know she was wanted, loved. She would watch other mothers hug their children, snuggle with them, talk with them and show them they were important. Olivia knew she was a burden, an unwanted item to be discarded whenever the reality of her conception was too much for her mother to bare.

 _Oh these little earthquakes, here we go again_

 _These little earthquakes, doesn't take much to rip us into pieces_

When Olivia was in her twenties, she met the person she thought she would marry, have a family and grow old with. His name was Donald Anderson and he was an attorney. A tax attorney, the safe kind! Donald was tall with blonde hair and blue eyes. The total opposite of any other man Olivia had dated. He was soft with a sensitive side and surprisingly built for a tax attorney. Olivia was in love with Donald. She loved how he made her feel, how gentle he was. Donald was shocked when he first found out she was a detective for the SVU. Donald knew it was a stressful job and was sensitive to what Olivia endured on a daily basis. They had been dating for almost two years when he asked Olivia for her hand in marriage. She accepted and they set a date. She was going to be Mrs. Donald Anderson, Benson-Anderson had a nice ring to it, she thought. Olivia loved her life. She was transferred from the 55th precinct to the 16th precinct in 1993 where she met her new partner Patrick Griffin. Patrick was a good guy and really helped Olivia feel safe and important. He showed her the ropes and was protective of the female detective. They had a great relationship and could talk about anything. Patrick was married and had two young children. He was happy for Olivia and during down times, would talk about all the things she would get to look forward to.

Olivia was happy and settled but she knew better than to get out of her comfort zone. Donald and Olivia were both athletic and enjoyed running each day. When they found themselves off together, they made it a habit to take run in Central Park and this day was no different. It was Saturday morning, one Olivia will never forget. They awoke that morning, wrapped in each other's arms, naked and still tired from their lovemaking the night before. "Do you want some breakfast my love," Olivia asked as she stretched, "How does peppered bacon, scrambled eggs and silver dollar pancakes sound?"

Donald shot Olivia a look and they both began cracking up. Their hectic lifestyles did not make for either one of them to be culinary masters, let alone run of the mill cooks. As they sat together, he with coffee and her with tea, eating a piece of buttered toast, they contemplated what they would do to fill the day.

"Honey, perhaps we should register soon. My mother has called me 50 times since we set the date. I think she is more excited about our china patterns than we are," exclaimed Donald.

"Well lets go take a run, get ready and we'll head down to Macy's," said Olivia. "We can check out the outrageous patterns for place settings we'll probably never use."

Olivia awoke to a knock at her door. "Hey Liv, its me El, can I use my key?" She drug herself off of the couch, "I'm coming, I'm coming." She open the door, "Hey, oh God, you look like hell!"

"Well good morning to you too!" Olivia flopped back down on the couch. "Liv, have you had anything to eat, you want some tea?" He reached over and touched her head, "Good lord your burning up." "El, I'll be fine. I am feeling a bit better, just need to rest."

"Look, I'm going to run down to the deli and grab you something to eat and pick you up some Thera-Flu. You need to take something to help with the symptoms and fever. I'll be back in about 30 minutes."

"Thanks El, I appreciate it. What's going on at work?"

"Nothing that I want you to worry about." The truth was Elliot was worried sick about his partner since IAB was breathing down their necks with evidence that pointed to Olivia being responsible for a murder. Elliot knew they would get to the bottom of the situation and there was no way his partner was the perpetrator.

Once Elliot left, Olivia's thoughts returned to Donald. The truth was the morning they made love, ate breakfast, talked china patterns and made plans for the future, was the last few moments of the life they shared together. As they began their morning jog, a car was speeding through the neighborhood and Donald was struck and killed instantly. Olivia felt warm tears falling from her eyes as she silently cried herself to sleep.

 _Give me life, Give me pain, Give me myself again…_


	4. Chapter 4

These Little Earthquakes

A FanFic by Iddyboo

Disclaimer: The story is mine but the characters are his. All Characters in this Fanfic associated with Law and Order: SVU belong to Dick Wolf. The other characters are my creation and the story is from my crazy little mind. The story is set around the end of 2009. Possible EO, possibly not but hopefully you will enjoy! Please review and let me know your thoughts. Special Thanks to MALove17 for being my beta showing this old girl how to post on FF!

Chapter 4-

December was in full swing the winter chill had set in. Olivia sat tapping her pencil on her desk while reading the latest case file. "Good morning, Olivia." "Melinda, what brings you here," Olivia asked. "I came to speak to Fin about a case he's working." "Fin, have you been able to find a link? Were you able to speak with Nicole Gleason," Olivia asked. "Yeah, she gave me a few connections to check out. She ran a story for me and I have a couple of calls in and am waiting for the DNA." Melinda advised Fin the DNA would be completed soon.

"Kath- I want to see my kids for Christmas. This is ridiculous that you keep holding them over me." Elliot passed through the squad room and headed around the corner. Olivia, Fin and Melinda were still within earshot although they tried to give him privacy.

"Of course I love my children, wha..NO, this has nothing to do with her. Why can't you get it in your head that NOTHING is going on between us…MY MOM, WHAT? Kathy look, we both agreed that I would get the kids this Christmas. You had them last Christmas. I want to take them away for a few days' head up to the cabin. I want to cut a Christmas tree, decorate, have snow ball fights, cocoa and light a fire. I want some semblance of a family. I want to make memories with them. Look Kath, I gotta go, I'll call you on tomorrow and work out the arrangements, …bye Kathy." Elliot tossed his phone on his desk, sat down and hung his head. He did not know why she had to make things so difficult. He and Kathy argued when they were married but lately the arguments have escalated to an all time high. Olivia watched as a lone tear slipped from Elliot's eye and crashed to the floor. She had never seen him look so defeated. Even with their caseload and things they had both seen over the years, she had never once seen Elliot cry. Olivia jumped as Elliot bolted up from his chair and headed to the one place her could clear his head, the roof.

Elliot was starting onto the skyline. Everything up there seemed quiet, there was a slight chill in the air. As he inhaled, he smelled the familiarity, the relentless city that never sleeps; his city, New York.

Elliot heard the door creek open, "Elliot!" "Yeah Cap." "Down stairs, my office." It was 1999. Elliot's old partner Jo Marlow had left the department and for the past four years he had been joining forces with Munch, Jefferies, Cassidy or anyone else that would put up with him. _Knock knock._ "Come in." "Hey Cap, you wanted to see me?" "Yes, Elliot. I'd like you to meet your new partner, Olivia Benson. Olivia comes to us from the 55th, Bronx." Elliot extended his hand as Olivia extended hers. "Welcome." "Thanks," she said. "Ok Elliot, if you'll show Olivia her desk, I'll leave you two to get acquainted." Elliot held the door for Olivia as they exited the captain's office. "Well this is your desk, not much, but we're hardly ever here. You have a locker over there and the cribs are just up those stairs. The printer half-ass works, you have to wiggle your desk drawer to get it open and the coffee, on a good day, sucks. I think that's about all!" Munch noticed Elliot was babbling, most likely trying to keep from starting at Olivia. She was gorgeous. Shoulder length hair that smelled of lavender, beautiful brown eyes and a smile that would make a man go weak at the knees. "Ah-hem," Munch cleared his throat, "John Munch," he said as he extended his hand. "Olivia Benson," she said as she shook his. "So, partnered with Un-Stable, huh, Sorry!" "Hey, you always do that Munch, try and scare my new partners into working with you" Elliot exclaimed. Olivia looked at Munch with concern. "Only the pretty ones." Olivia chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"A penny for your thoughts," Olivia asked as she neared him. Elliot, so deep in thought, did not hear the door open, or her footsteps nearing. "Liv, how long you been here?" "Only just. El I'm sorry your upset. I wish there was something I could do. I know you want nothing more than to be with the kids this holiday."

Elliot shook his head and took a deep breath. God if he could only tell her how much he wanted to share the holidays with her as well. "Ill get it worked out, say what are you doing for the holidays?" "Uh, actually, I have a date!" Olivia hesitated to say.

"What, whose the guy, why haven't I met him?"

"I've only known him a few months, I've seen him everyday since. He just asked me out though."

"Who is it?"

"El, promise you won't laugh. He's not like anyone I've ever dated. He's funny, he sweet and he owns his own business."

"Why would I laugh? What does he have three arms or something? Does he own a sex shop? What?"

"Let's just say I get my green drinks from him daily."

"You're dating the Simply Smoothie guy?"

As they began the decent to the precinct, Olivia explained, "El, his name is Sam. Sam Larson."

"Sam Larson, huh. So if this gets serious you'll be Olivia Benson-Larson? Hello, this is Mr. and Mrs. Benson-Larson, their children Carson Benson-Larson and Anderson Benson-Larson?"

"El, please!" Olivia laughed, "I like Mason Benson-Larson!"

As they entered the squad room, Fin and Munch were sitting at their desks. It was late and the place was pretty empty. They had all been pretty busy this week and needed to unwind. "That's it, I'm done, I need a break!" Fin exclaimed, "Come on, its Friday night." The four detectives looked at each other, "O'Malley's!" the said in unison.


	5. Chapter 5

These Little Earthquakes

A FanFic by Iddyboo

Disclaimer: The story is mine but the characters are his. All Characters in this Fanfic associated with Law and Order: SVU belong to Dick Wolf. The other characters are my creation and the story is from my crazy little mind. The story is set around the end of 2009. Possible EO, possibly not but hopefully you will enjoy! Please review and let me know your thoughts. Special Thanks to MALove17 for being my beta showing this old girl how to post on FF!

Chapter 5-

It was almost Christmas and things at the precinct were anything but slow. "This is why I hate the holidays. Mass casualties of bank accounts, nightmare crowds, the hustle and bustle, ALL in order to provide little Johnny with a BB gun and Aunt Fern with a new casserole dish." As usual, Munch was delivering 'holiday cheer,' in the form of conspiracy theories, to anyone who would lend a willing ear. Elliot had negotiated 5 full days with his youngest three children. Not completely happy, Kathy had no real say since, sixteen year olds, Dickie and Lizzie actually wanted to spend the season with their father. Eli, age two, was part of the deal. Maureen was now twenty-five and a married soon-to-be mother of one. Her husband David was a Police Officer in Jersey. At their wedding last year, Elliot asked his daughter why she chose a cop. "Daddy," she said, "I know how hard your job is and I know that you gave as much to helping others as you did for caring for us. I am proud to be your daughter and I am proud to have a husband that has the same work ethic as you. I know David is a good man and will take care of our family." That was a moment Elliot would never forget! Kathleen, 20, could not make the trip with her family due to work obligations, but said she would be up the following day. She asked Elliot if she could bring someone, he said that was fine. Maureen knew her sisters special someone and welcomed the two often to her home. Chris was the person that kept Kathleen grounded and her sister saw how happy they were together.

As things were winding down for the evening, Captain Cragen called a meeting to go over the assignments during the long weekend. "Ok, so Elliot you have the next five days, Munch I have you down for the next 3 returning on Christmas day. Olivia and Fin are here the next two days and then Fin, you are handling call outs with the two coming over from homicide. I believe they are Beck and Daniels. Olivia I have you off for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day." "Captain, if I may ask, what or who will you be doing this holiday season?" Munch asked. "That's none of your business Mr."

Truth is the office rumor mill was running wild with the fact that Donald Cragen had in fact landed himself a girlfriend. Something none of the detectives could confirm nor deny, although they often tried to get Olivia to pry. She had developed more of a father-daughter relationship with the captain over the years, but that did not mean he ever let her off the hook.

Elliot and Munch had left the office and Olivia and Fin were finishing up loose ends on paperwork. Olivia wanted to ensure nothing would be left on her desk when she returned from her time off.

"Liv, you have any plans with Smoothie King?" Fin asked. "His name is Sam, and yes, Christmas Eve, he's treating me to a "Classic Christmas', as he called it." Fin saw that Olivia seemed a little unsure. "Are you sure its what you want baby girl?" "Yeah, he's a really nice guy Fin, I'm just not sure I'm doing the right thing here." Olivia exhaled. "Lately I don't know what I'm doing Fin. I just..." "Liv, what's bothering you, you can tell me, I'm here for you, you're like my sister." "From anotha' mista'," Liv joking said.

It was true. Fin had been with the department for almost 10 years and albeit they always did not agree on cases, Fin and Olivia's relationship had blossomed over the years. She was there for him and he for her. Fin knew about Olivia's family past or lack there of, and Olivia knew everything about Fin. She was often the voice of reason when it came to Fin and his son Ken. When Fin was shot in a bodega robbery, it was Olivia that informed Ken and advised him that his father needed him. Fin felt he didn't deserve a second chance with Ken but Olivia made sure the two worked on rebuilding that father/son bond.

"Fin, have you ever felt so close to someone you knew you couldn't have? Or shouldn't have?" "Liv, if this is about Stabler, I" "What makes you think this is about him?" "Baby girl. I have sat at this desk for years, watching the two of you. I see how he looks at you, and how you look at him. I know you would have never done anything before his divorce but now, he's fair game."

"Why am I like this? Second-guessing everything in my life? I just thought that if he felt the same, I would have known by now. He asks me these questions some times and I don't know how to respond. I mean Fin; I wouldn't want to jeopardize what we have now. He knows me; he knows my every move, my next move, sometimes even before I do. We fit together perfectly. There is no one else I would rather have by my side in the field." "I know what you mean, like me and Munch," she raised a brow, "MINUS the sexual undertones," Fin added in a matter of fact manner. "It's important to have someone to have your back and someone that you can trust to protect you. I get that, but Liv, you and Elliot have this chemistry. I can't tell you what to do; you have to look in your heart. I will support your decision though." "AND pretend this conversation never happened if I chose not to pursue it." Olivia added. "Yes Liv, just promise me you'll let me know before you do though, I need to earn some of my money back from Munch."

Elliot was at home packing last minute items he would need for the cabin. This trip was long over due. He had not been out of this city in years, much less, to his family cabin. It was upstate in the Catskills, in the town of Cape Vincent, about a five-hour drive from his apartment. He looked at his watch; it was almost 7:30 p.m. He knew Kathy was to drop the younger three kids off to him at 8:00. As Elliot continued to pack his thoughts were on more than just his children. He wanted to ask Olivia on the trip although he knew she would not accept. As much as it killed him, he knew she was dating Sam, the Smoothie guy. "God Stabler, when are you gonna' get your head out of your ass and tell her how you feel?" he asked himself. In the last few years, Elliot found himself more and more attracted to Olivia. It wasn't just their partner relationship or that she was a woman, no it was much more than that for Elliot. Olivia was his confidant, his rhyme, his reason. Frankly, he could not remember just when it began. When his feelings shifted from like to love. Elliot remembered the Gitano case, his overwhelming concern for Olivia and how he let his emotions overcome his duty to protect and serve. He remembered how upset she was when he told her she should have taken the shot. He remembered tears streaming down her face. "What about your kids, what about me", he remembered her saying. What about me; those words played over and over in his mind for months. He remembered telling her they both chose each other over the job, something he kicked himself in the ass for daily afterward. Olivia asked for a new partner after the case. Since one wasn't available, she relocated to computer crimes. Elliot knew he broke her heart in the past. Maybe there was good reason behind it, or maybe he was just an idiot.

Elliot heard a knock at the door. Looking out, he saw Kathy holding Eli. He opened the door, "Hey kids," Elliot beamed. "Hey dad," Lizzie was the first to pipe up. "Da-eee," Eli cooed. "Kathy thanks for bringing them."

"Elliot, I'm still not happy with this arrangement but I guess I don't have much of a choice. When are you leaving and when are you planning on coming back?"

"Kathy, we've been over this, I'm headed up tonight and we will be heading back on Tuesday. I will bring them home to you on Wednesday."

"When are Mo and David leaving, you know I don't think it's a good idea that she goes with you. She is 8 months pregnant."

"Kathy, Maureen is a big girl, she knows what she can handle. We wont be doing anything that would jeopardize her or the baby."

There was another knock at the door and it was Maureen and David. "Hey guys, you all ready to go soon," Elliot asked as he let them in. "Yeah Dad, we are really excited too. This is a first for David." Maureen interjected. "Maureen, I don't think it's a good idea that you go," again, Kathy stated. "Mom, we've been over this a million times, I am fine and I am going to enjoy this vacation with dad!"

Defeated, Kathy grabbed her purse, kissed her kids and left without as much as a word to Elliot. She was bitter, no doubt. All of her attempts to keep her kids for the holiday had failed.

Olivia had just arrived home. It was passed 11 p.m. and she had just received a text from Sam,

Can't wait to see u!

Hope you are ready for xmas fun!

Sam

Can't wait!

Olivia

Truth is, Olivia could wait. Her head was saying Sam was a better fit for her, out of the "business", so to speak. A safe choice, no baggage, if things did not work out, no harm, no foul. Her heart was screaming Elliot. Olivia sighed as she undressed, threw her clothes in the hamper and headed to her bathroom. She turned the water on steaming hot and tossed in a bath bomb. It was one of those days. She slipped in as the blue, kale filled water surrounded her body. She was so relaxed. Olivia awoke to cool water and the sound of a text notification. As she reached for her phone, she saw she had been in there an hour. She got a towel and wrapped it around her and padded off into her bedroom. She assumed the text was from Sam and her breath hitched when she saw Elliot's name.

Hey!

Hope you made it home ok.

Call me if u want, I'm still driving.

El-

Olivia dialed his number and he answered before it even rang. "Liv?"

"Hey, El. How long have you been on the road?"

"Well, actually I just got going. The kids were there at 8 p.m. and I thought we would leave shortly after, but you know how that goes. Eli was hungry, Dickie was engrossed in video games and Lizzie was finishing up loose 'gossip' ends with her friends. I couldn't get these little buggers moving until about 30 minutes ago."

Olivia chuckled, just imagining Elliot juggling all of his kids and trying to get on the road.

"What's so funny? Come on. Your hurtin' my feelings here."

"Nothing El, just picturing all of that in my mind. Mr. In Control losing control!"

She continued to chuckle.

"So did you get all the paperwork finished from our cases?" That was not what he wanted to talk to her about but he just couldn't bring himself to say what was in his heart. " _Liv, I love you, I have been in love with you, I want you, I've wanted you for so long I can't even tell you when it began. I wish you were right here with me going on this family vacation with me, with us, our family vacation. I need you to be in my life, not just as my partner, as my soul mate, don't laugh Liv, but you complete me. I know that's a cliché line from a movie Liv, but it couldn't be more true, YOU. COMPLETE. Mm."_

"EL?" "El, are you listening to me?" Elliot realized he had drifted into though. All those things he wanted to say, he just didn't have the balls to do it. _God why am I so stupid…_

"Huh, oh. Yeah, yeah. The D5's. Got it."

"Your not sleepy are you? Are you going to be alright driving for the next four and a half hours?"

"Yes, Liv, I'm fine. I was just thinking about something, _you_. Well I guess I'm going to let you go. Eli is sleeping and the others look like their headed that way."

"El, If you get tired, call me. I can keep you up, I mean, I'll make sure you stay awake, I mean, god El, just call me if you need to."

Elliot laughed at her mishaps, she laughed back as they disconnected the call. _God he loved that laugh._

Olivia dressed in her Star Wars pajama pants and a white t-shirt. She headed down the hall and stopped to check her front door locks and make sure her service pistol was secured. She headed into the kitchen for a drink of water. As she shut the refrigerator door, she saw the picture of herself, holding Eli. Elliot had given it to her just after Eli's birth. He was so thankful she was there for Kathy and Eli. The picture was taken at the hospital when Olivia came back to visit with Kathy and the baby three days after he was born. Olivia thought about how big Eli was now and how so much had changed. She gave another chuckle thinking of Elliot's vacation and shenanigans he would endure as she headed off to bed.

It was Eli's first Christmas and the family had invited Olivia over to celebrate the season with them. Oddly enough, Kathy had gotten closer to Olivia over the month since Eli's birth. She felt a strange closeness to Olivia, partly because she had practically saved her life and the fact that she was there for Eli's birth and was the first person to hold him. Olivia graciously accepted the offer. Olivia had purchased a few gifts for the kids and even made a card for Elliot and Kathy that was good for one free night of babysitting. She loved those kids. They seemed to fill a bit of a void for her. She could not have her own right now and she had looked into adoption, only to be turned down due to the "Nature of your work and your family history." After dinner, they all ended up in the living room. As Dickie and Lizzie played "Santa" passing out gifts, Olivia was surprised to see she had a pile as well. Maureen and Kathleen got her a blouse, Dickie and Lizzie got her a winter scarf, Elliot and Kathy gave her a Starbucks gift card and little Eli gave her some Star Wars pajama pants that were covered in Darth Vader and Storm Troopers. Olivia about died laughing when she opened them since Star Wars was a recent elucidation of one John Munch. His final commentary was the assertion that Olivia was indeed a member of the dark side.

"Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep…," Olivia reached over and hit the snooze button. She was exhausted and felt as though she could sleep another five hours. As she lay there, she remembered Elliot and grabbed her phone. There was a text from him…

We made it-

Be Safe

El

Olivia got out of bed and proceeded to the bathroom. She took a quick shower and finished getting ready for the day. She was hoping for an easy day and prayed they would not have any new victims so close to the holiday season. That prayer would not be answered today.


	6. Chapter 6

These Little Earthquakes

A FanFic by Iddyboo

Disclaimer: The story is mine but the characters are his. All Characters in this Fanfic associated with Law and Order: SVU belong to Dick Wolf. The other characters are my creation and the story is from my crazy little mind. The story is set around the end of 2009. Possible EO, possibly not but hopefully you will enjoy! Special Thanks to MALove17 for being my beta showing this old girl how to post on FF! Please review and let me know your thoughts. I would love some feedback!

**Warning** This Chapter discusses a case involving children, please read at your own risk.

Chapter 6-

Olivia had made her way to the office and found Fin already there. "Good morning, we got anything?" "Nope, all quiet so far," Fin said, relieved. "You'll never believe what Munch called to tell me last night!" "Oh God, what now!" Olivia exclaimed. He said he was out to dinner with 'a friend' and he saw a certain redhead we used to know with a certain older balding man we still know." "What? You mean Casey and Cragen?" "That's what he said." Fin managed. "No way, I know Casey, Cragen could be her father. There's no way….are you sure?" Olivia asked. "Liv, I am only telling you what the lunatic told me." "Fin, there's no possible way. I don't, I can't even fathom that. Its just." Just then the phone rang. "Detective Tutuola." "Ok, ok, how old? Where are they? Ok, alright, Benson and I will be there shortly." Olivia could tell by the expressions on Fin's face, this was not going to be a good day. Fin shook his head as Olivia put on her coat. "What do we have Fin?"

"Liv this isn't good. A mom and two little girls ages six and two. The mom didn't make it; the girls are at Mercy listed in critical condition. Seems the mom's boyfriend and his friends took turns raping the mother and the six year old. Then used all three as punching bags. It appears the mother's throat was slashed. The neighbors called 911 when they heard all the commotion. The mother was DOA, " Fin provided the details as the two headed to the car.

Olivia had dealt with a lot of victims in her time on the force but the kids got to her a little more each time. She felt a tear run down her face. "Fin, these little girls should be getting ready for Christmas, not in a hospital bed full of injuries. What the hell is wrong with people?" " I ask myself that each day baby girl. Let's go check on the kids and see if we can get anything from the neighbors, we've got to find these bastards and get them off the streets. If they'll do that to people they know, who's to know what other kind of shit they'll do."

The ride to Mercy was silent. Olivia and Fin knew this one was not going to be easy. Once they arrived, Dr. Sarah Anderson met them. "Detective Benson, good to see you. I wish it were not under these circumstances. Olivia this is one of the worst cases I've seen," Dr. Anderson stated. "The six year old has vaginal tearing, fluids of multiple perpetrators', broken ribs, her pelvis is fractured, multiple abrasions and bruising. She is in surgery now. The baby appears as though she has been drop kicked against a wall. Multiple fractures and injuries, she is in surgery as well."

"What are their names?" Olivia asked. "The baby is Emily and the six year old's name is Grace. Last name…uh…that's odd, Stabler. Their names are Grace and Emily Stabler," Dr. Anderson relayed. "Stabler? That's not a common name. God I hope they are not Elliot's relatives."

"Liv, they got the boyfriend and one of the other suspects on a traffic stop in Queens. The other guy ran, pulled a gun on the officers and the officers opened fire. Dead." "Well that's one we won't be paying for," Dr. Anderson smirked. She had been exposed to this daily for the last 20 years. She was tired of seeing no justice for the victims. She made it very clear whose side she was on.

"Olivia, I'm going to check on the girls. I'll let you know when you can see them."

Fin and Olivia knew they were in for the long haul today. They needed to see if Grace could tell them anything. They knew it would not be easy for her and didn't know if she would even respond to them but they knew they could not leave until they tried.

Elliot and Dickie had finished unpacking the car. Maureen and Lizzie were making lunch. David was keeping Eli busy building his first snowman. "Look Eli, were making a circle. Now let's roll it, roll it, roll it and make it really BIG!" Eli laughed at the faces his brother-in-law was making as he was explaining the steps in building the perfect snowman. "Bi-gur! Bi-gur!" Eli cheered. The bottom of the snowman was taller than Eli by the time they finished the first part. As the two continued to work on the snowman, Elliot went inside to check on lunch. He heard his girls whispering to each other and swore he heard Olivia's name. "Hey girls, how's it coming along in here?" "Great Dad!" Maureen exclaimed. "Almost done, if you want to call the others in." They all sat and ate lunch at the large farmhouse table. Elliot looked proudly at his family.

"Dad, I talked to Kathleen about 30 minutes ago and she said they have about another 70 miles so really they should be here soon." "Whose she bringing," Elliot inquired. "Both girls chuckled." "What, what's so funny?" "Well dad, we don't want you be shocked when you find this out but Kathleen is bringing her friend Chris. As in significant other, Chris. As in Christine. As in life partner Christine. A woman Chris," Lizzie beamed. "So your telling me Kathleen is a lesbian?" "Wow, Dad, you catch on quick, " Maureen chimed in. "Well ladies, I hate to break it to you but I had an inkling that was the case. Your mother and I have known for a while now. I wish she 'd felt like she could come to me sooner. I love her no matter what. I love all of you. I just want you to be who you are and happy. That is what will make me happy." "Well crap dad, you know Kathleen always wants to stir the shit pot so why don't you do something drastic when she shows up. Just for fun," said Maureen. "I'll see what I can do!" Truth was Elliot did know that Kathleen had someone and they were serious. He didn't tell the girls that one night while working a case, he and Olivia had seen Kathleen and he assumes Chris out together. He was initially taken aback by the outward show of affection, but once Olivia and him talked, he felt like he should let Kathy know as well. He wanted nothing more that to ensure his kids were happy, safe and could talk to him no matter what.

Maureen, Lizzie, Eli and David were in the kitchen cleaning up when Kathleen and Chris arrived. The four went over to the window to see just what Elliot's reaction was going to be. "Ok Christine, this is it. I'm nervous as hell but I love you so much. My Dad may go a little crazy, he may turn red, you may see the veins in his neck. He's a little high strung. God I wish Olivia was here, she has this calming affect on him. Shit, why isn't she here…wh." "Kathleen, your babbling, you know you get this way, just calm down, everything is going to be fine. I'm not scared of your father, it's going to be fine." Christine had that same calming affect on Kathleen. She bend inward and kissed Kathleen softly on the lips, "I love you, I am in love with you, now can we please get out of this car, I'm freezing."

"Elliot was bringing in a stack of wood for the fireplace. As he rounded the corner, he saw his second born, Kathleen. "Hey Kat, my baby," he grabbed her and pulled her into a bog hug. "Hey dad! Dad….Dad your squeezing me!" As Elliot let Kathleen go, she cleared her throat. "Dad, this is Christine. She's my girlfriend, Dad, I'm gay!" Kathleen realized she yelled that last part, her big grin turned to a crooked smile, then to a sheer panic as her dad dropped the bundle of wood, grabbed his chest and fell to the fresh powdered snow. "Dad, dad, oh my God, dad!" Kathleen screamed. Just then the rest of the Stabler/Buchanan bunch bolted from the door. "Awe great Kathleen, now you've killed dad." Maureen burst out. "Are you happy now?' Lizzie followed. Elliot couldn't hold it in any longer and he began laughing hysterically. "Dad, your ok! You scared the shit out of me dammit!" Kathleen exclaimed as she hit her dad lightly over the head. She bent down and grabbed a wad of snow and pummeled it at Elliot. "Ok, ok, Kathleen, I'm sorry. I was just playing around." Elliot got up and dusted the snow of his clothes. He extended his had, "Hello Christine, it is nice to finally meet you. I've heard wonderful things about you!" Kathleen looked at her dad, "Who are you and what have you done with my father?" "What! Can't a guy be accepting of his child's happiness?" "Uhm, Dad, did you and Olivia finally do it? Is that why you're so happy? Wait, is she here?" "A, that's none of your business, B, no and C, sadly no." "Dad still doesn't have the balls to tell Liv how he feels about her," Dickie piped in. "Which, in my opinion, is a travesty," Lizzie agreed. "Wait, why are you kids talking like this. You wouldn't have an issue with me seeing Olivia?" "Duh, NO Dad" Maureen said. "We have been expecting it. Thought that would be the natural progression. You've only been in love with her forever!" "Look enough about my lack of balls, this is our vacation and I want to be surrounded by my kids," Eliot said as he rounded them up for a group hug. As they all began piling in the cabin, Kathleen held back with Elliot. "Dad, I'm sorry if your upset at this, she just makes me really happy." Kathleen whispered. "Kathleen, I love you. I am happy you're happy. Just promise the old man; you'll always be upfront with me. I never want you to feel like you cannot be you. I accept you the way you are. You are part of me." Kathleen felt the warmth of her tears. She was so happy. She felt like a huge weight was lifted off of her shoulders. She was at peace, finally. The girls brought their bags in and settled in with Mo and Lizzie in the living room. Eli was playing with some toy cars on the floor. "Hey ladies, we are going to go cut down the Christmas tree. Honey, I got the ornaments and tree skirt out of the car and put it all in the front room, your dad says we'll set it up in there. Be back soon," David said as he bent down to kiss his very pregnant wife.

"Olivia," Dr. Anderson called. Olivia had dozed off for a minute. She and Fin had been sitting in the waiting room for hours. "Olivia, Grace is awake. She's pretty groggy still but she seems to remember what happened. She's not asking for her mom, so I think she may know she's deceased." "What about Emily," Olivia asked Dr. Anderson. "She's still in recovery. She had to have her left arm set and by the grace of god, that is all that needed repair. She does have some internal bruising and her little face is swollen but she will heal in time."

Olivia braced herself as she went into Grace's room. She felt herself shutter a little at the door entry, not quit sure she was ready to face the brutality. She took a deep breath and entered the room. Just as she looked at Grace, the pit of her stomach fell. There she was lying in that large hospital bed. She was a small frame girl that couldn't of weighed more than 40 lbs. Olivia took in all of her injuries, cataloging each one in her mind. The bites on her neck and checks, the cut over her eye, the bruising on her neck and arms, zip tie marks on her wrists, not one inch of her fair skin was not marked or bruised. She had defensive wounds; no doubt she fought like hell to protect herself. This petite little girl, with her long golden blonde hair, dainty little nose with rosebud lips. She fought like hell. Grace began to stir and then she opened her eyes. Olivia's breath hitched. She knew those eyes. Those large artic blue eyes she would know anywhere. Those were Stabler eyes.

"Hi Grace, my name is Olivia and I'm a police officer. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" Those same words Olivia muttered time and time again. It never once got easier.


	7. Chapter 7

A FanFic by Iddyboo

Disclaimer: The story is mine but the characters are his. All Characters in this Fanfic associated with Law and Order: SVU belong to Dick Wolf. The other characters are my creation and the story is from my crazy little mind. The story is set around the end of 2009. Possible EO, possibly not but hopefully you will enjoy! Special Thanks to MALove17 for being my beta showing this old girl how to post on FF! Please review and let me know your thoughts. I would love some feedback!

**Warning** This Chapter discusses a case involving children, please read at your own risk.

Chapter 7-

Olivia was surprised by the amount of details Grace was able to provide. She gave the names of the three suspects and gave strong information that would indicate motive and premeditation. Olivia asked Grace about her father or other relatives. Grace told Olivia her father had been killed in a car crash when he was coming home from the airport. She told Olivia her daddy was a soldier in the army and he was coming home but did not make it. Olivia asked her when this happened. Grace replied, "My sister was just a little bitty baby." Olivia thought about it for a minute and said, "Grace, was your daddy's name Daniel Stabler?"

"Yes, did you know my daddy?"

"No, but I think your daddy's cousin may be a police officer that I work with. His name is Elliot Stabler."

Olivia had remembered Elliot being out for his cousin's funeral about 18 months ago. Elliot had told her Daniel was coming home for leave to see his new baby girl and was in a terrible car accident on the way home from the airport. The limo company had paid a pretty penny to his wife and Elliot said she had squandered the money in no time due to a new boyfriend and a rough life. Olivia finished gathering her information and told Grace that she would be back to see her the following day. When she was headed out, Dr. Anderson let her know that Emily was doing well considering her injuries and that she was going to be moved in Grace's room so they could be together.

Olivia felt her stomach beginning to turn when the nurses wheeled Emily's bed into Grace's room. She was very small, obviously underweight. She had a lot of the same features as her sister, although her wispy hair was darker and not near as long. Her chubby little checks were swollen and bruised. She had several cuts on her arms and legs. Still groggy from the anesthesia, Emily was beginning to cry.

"Shh, shh, shh….It's ok baby. I know, I know it hurts, precious. Shh, shh," Olivia said as she stroked a small spot on Emily's head. Emily opening her eyes at the sounds of Olivia's voice. Staring back at her was another pair of artic blue Stabler eyes.

Back at the cabin, Elliot and the kids were just finishing up trimming the Christmas tree. Elliot went to the closet and got out all of the Christmas presents he had purchased.

"Nice wrapping Dad, I guess you had to pay extra for that?" Dickie said.

"Actually I had a helper Elf and she was nice enough to teach me wrapping 101."

Elliot remembered a few weeks back when he asked Olivia if she would mind going shopping with him in order to help get the perfect gifts for the kids. For braving the crowds, he treated her to lunch.

"El, do you have wrapping paper and bows?"

"No, Liv, I just thought I'd hand them out."

"Elliot, you need make them nice, presentation is everything. Let's get some supplies and I'll help you wrap them. We can go to my place."

That night Elliot and Olivia sat and talked, drank a few glasses of wine and wrapped gifts. She showed him how to fold the paper and tape the package just so. By the end of the night he had mastered the art of Christmas wrapping, learned more of Olivia's likes, wants and even Christmas wishes. He fell more in love with her that night and wanted to tell her.

"Earth to dad, are you listening dad?"

Lost in thought, Elliot had not heard Maureen speaking to him.

"Oh, sorry, Mo." Elliot said as he finished placing the gifts under the tree.

"Dad, can you ask David to bring down our presents. He's in the kitchen giving Eli a late night snack.

"Sure," Elliot said. "Hey big boy," Eli was sitting on David's lap eating a graham cracker as Elliot walked in.

"David, thanks for helping out with Eli. He really loves you."

"It's no problem," David said, "I love him and I need the practice for when the baby comes."

"You know nothing is going to prepare you right, it's a crap shoot, fly by the seat of your pants gig. You can read all the books you want and your still going to get something wrong," Elliot joked.

"I know, Sir. I'm nervous, but I'm ready."

"You're going to be just fine, David."

Elliot watched as David let Eli finish his cracker. David was ex-military and he still maintained his large physique. He was tall and intimidating most likely because of his deep-set eyes and military fade. Elliot knew the real deal; David was just a blonde headed teddy bear who treated his daughter like royalty.

"David, I can take him, Mo wanted to ask you to get the gifts and bring them down. Plus I need to get this guy to bed. We've had a long day."

Olivia and Fin had just finished up at the station. The two surviving criminals had been questioned and sent to booking. They confessed to the crimes but claimed they were high. Olivia found it sickening that they were trying to justify their actions.

"Fin, I'm going home for the night, are you leaving soon?"

"Yeah, Liv, I'm walking you out." It was 1 a.m., officially Christmas Eve.

"Fin, I just can't get those girls out of my head. I have never been like this, I just keep seeing them; I feel so bad. They have no one left. I think they are relatives of Elliot's. I'm going to call him tomorrow and ask to be sure. When I was speaking to Grace, she said her dad's name was Daniel Stabler, the same name as Elliot's cousin that was killed about 18 months ago, you remember?"

"Yeah I remember that. Look Liv, try to get some rest, try and enjoy the next two days off. I'll call you if something changes on the girls status."

"Thanks Fin, goodnight."

Olivia got in her car and headed toward her apartment. She was thinking about Emily and Grace so she called Mercy. Olivia talked to Dr. Anderson and found out they were both still stable. She informed the doctor she would stop by in the afternoon after she got some rest. Arriving at her apartment, Olivia was barely able to make it in. She leaned back against her grey tufted couch and closed her eyes. She kept seeing Grace and Emily over and over again; she just had to find a way for those girls to be safe. She felt her tears falling as she quietly cried. Olivia cried for Grace and Emily, she cried for their mother and she cried for the exhaustion she felt within her very soul.

It was 5 a.m. Christmas Eve morning. Elliot was up early enjoying a hot cup of coffee and a peaceful quiet cabin. He had planned on making a big family breakfast and then heading out for some fun in the snow with the kids. His thoughts drifted to his partner. He wondered what she was doing, if she was awake. He decided to text.

Merry Christmas Liv-

Big plans tonight?

He instantly regretted sending the last sentence. As much as it killed him, Elliot did not want to interfere with Olivia and Sam's relationship. As much as he wanted to be in it, Olivia's personal life was her business. _For now,_ he thought.

Hey El- Merry Xmas

Can you talk?

Elliot was surprised to see a response so soon. He immediately dialed Olivia's number.

"Hello" she responded half-asleep.

"Liv, hey, good morning. You wanted to talk?"

"El, yeah, listen, I wanted to talk to you about a case we received yesterday. Your cousin Daniel, the one that passed away, I remember you telling me he was coming home to meet his baby. Did you know her name?"

"Yeah. Liv, what's this got to do with a case you're working?"

"I'm not sure yet but do you remember?" Olivia said, hoping she was wrong.

"Well, let's see, I think the baby was Emily or something with an E and I know the oldest one was named Grace." Olivia felt her stomach turn. "Liv, did something happen to them? Did something happen to Sarah?"

"El, I don't know how to tell you this but Sarah was killed and the girls are at Mercy. They were assaulted by Sarah's boyfriend and two of his friends, she didn't make it El. The girls are in stable condition right now. Do they have any other relatives, grandparents, anyone?"

"Not that I know of, my uncle died on the job about 10 years ago, my aunt Claire passed away about five months after Daniels accident. He was an only child. Sarah his wife was an only child as well. God how does this happen?' Elliot felt himself sinking into his chair. Rubbing his head he began, "Liv, I'll see if someone from the family can come up there. I don't know anyone else but my sister but I haven't talk to her in years. I'll let you know what I can do."

"Ok El, just keep me posted. I told Dr. Anderson I would check on them today. I can text you once I know som.."

"Liv just call," Elliot interrupted. "I don't mind you calling, _l love hearing your voice_ ," is what he wanted to add but didn't. "Hey don't you have a date with Smoothy Sam tonight?"

"Yeah, but I am not sure I can still go, El I can't get these girls out of my mind."

"Liv, I understand, but listen you are off the next two days, I want you to promise me you'll go. _He couldn't believe he was encouraging the woman he loved to go out with anther man._ Liv the girls are in a safe place now, you still need to have a life Liv, promise me you'll go."

A slight smile spread across her face, she ran her fingers through her hair, "Ok, El, I promise. I'll go. I'll call you later ok?"

"Merry Christmas Liv"

"Merry Christmas El, Goodbye"

Olivia tossed her phone on the couch beside her. She wasn't sure about what just happened. Elliot was encouraging her to go on another date with Sam? Obviously he doesn't have the share the same feelings, she thought to herself. Olivia was still exhausted but decided she would get ready, grab some breakfast and go check on the girls. She knew Sam would be picking her up at five so she had time to come back home for a nap.

Elliot, on the other hand, was wide-awake. He contemplated calling his sister but thought he would run it by his mother first. Bernie was due in today and he would await her arrival. Elliot's thoughts drifted back to Olivia. He thought about how distraught she sounded on the phone. He thought about how he wished he were there to comfort her, tell her how he felt about her and pick up the pieces for her. _God Elliot, you're such a dumbass, good thing you're not a traffic cop, talk about mixed signals!_ Elliot thought to himself. He got up and started to prepare breakfast for the masses. Not long after he began cooking, Maureen padded down stairs. "Good morning Dad,' Maureen said as she gave her father a hug.

"Hey princess, how did you sleep? How's my grandson?" Elliot said rubbing her swollen belly.

"Ok, just can't wait to have him. I can't believe I'll be a mother in less than 2 months."

"I'm so proud of you sweetie. Ya' hungry? Breakfast is almost ready."

"Yes. Starving! Who we're you talking to this morning?"

"Huh, oh Olivia. She text me this morning about a case so I called her."

"A case Dad? Really, you couldn't come up with something better than the old "case" excuse?"

"Really Mo, we talked about a recent case she's working on."

"So you didn't profess your love to her, convince her to drive up and spend Christmas with you?"

"No, Mo, I didn't, I"

"Dad, what is your problem? You have been in love with Olivia, you ARE in love with her. Why don't you tell her? What is the problem, mom is moving on, why can't you?"

"It's complicated Mo."

"Complicated? Dad, your marriage to mom was complicated. Your job is complicated. You and Olivia are undeniable. Dad, don't waste more time. You need to be happy. We all want you to be happy. Life is not a dress rehearsal. You need to tell her."

"Maureen, since when did you become so insightful?"

"Dad, come on, just do it. Call her today, it's Christmas Eve. Let her know how you feel and see if she feels the same. Then go from there."

"I'll see." The truth was Elliot would love to do nothing more, but he did not want to ruin their potential relationship before it even had a chance. He knew Olivia better than anyone. He knew she would, hang up, process what he said and then run. She always ran. Ran from everything. She could never just let good happen, she never thought she deserved it. Olivia scrutinized every little detail until she would persuade herself to flee. Elliot wanted nothing more than to have Olivia in his arms but he knew he had to be stealth in his approach.

Olivia had dressed and grabbed a hot tea and bagel at the deli. As she drove to the hospital she thought about the images again. She thought about how Grace looked but how much strength she had when providing Olivia details of the crime. She thought about Emily. That poor baby in the steel crib, scared, hurting, crying for her mother. A mother that she would never see again. Olivia felt tears running down her face once more.

"Ahhh, Get it together Benson. You'll be no good to these girls if you can't keep yourself together," Olivia said aloud to herself.

She had stopped off and picked out two stuffed animals for the girls; a pink elephant for Emily and a yellow floppy bunny for Grace. She grabbed them both and headed inside the hospital. Olivia went up to the fifth floor Pediatric Unit. She met with Dr. Anderson before going into see them. Dr. Anderson told Olivia her that the girls had a rough night initially, however they did get some rest in the wee hours of the morning. Olivia headed to room 515 and braced herself once more for what she was about to see. She entered the room and noticed that Emily was still sleeping. She peered in through bars and noticed her chest rising and falling. She looked so peaceful, although her bruises and cuts were still present. The swelling on her face had gone down a little and Olivia could see the prominent dimple on her chin. Olivia placed the elephant in a corner of the crib and turned toward Grace. She noticed Grace's eyes were half closed and she whispered her name. Grace opened her eyes. "Olivia?" she replied.

"Yes, sweetie, it's me. How are you feeling today?"

"It hurts, everywhere," Grace said as she coughed. Olivia could see the pain on her little face when she did so.

"I brought you something Grace," Olivia said as she held up the bunny, "Do you like it?"

"Yes, it's pretty. Thank you Olivia."

"You're welcome sweetie." Olivia said as she examined Grace's injuries. Her facial swelling had subsided a little and Olivia could see the bruising setting in. Her cut above her eye had been sewn shut. She knew grace had multiple extensive injuries she couldn't see and she was unable to move due to the pins the doctors had to place in her pelvis. Olivia knew the girls had a long road to recovery and that was just physically. Psychologically, that was another story. Olivia visited with Grace for about an hour. She helped feed her breakfast and when Emily awoke, she was able to change her and give her a sippy cup of juice. The nurses were amazed at how Emily took to Olivia and how calm Emily was when she was there. Olivia asked to hold Emily and the nurse was able to find a rocking chair and bring it to the room. The nurse handed Emily to Olivia and fixed all of the I.V. tubes and monitor wires so they wouldn't be in the way. Emily melted into Olivia's chest. Olivia could feel her tiny heart beating. God she needed this. Needed to feel this life. She began rocking and mumming a lullaby.

"Detective Benson, Detective Benson," Olivia was awakened by the nurse.

"Oh, sorry, I must have dozed off. What time is it?"

"Its just after 2:00 ma'am. I guess the both of you needed that nap!"

Olivia looked down and Emily was still sleeping soundly on her chest. The nurse took Emily from Olivia and placed her back in the crib. Olivia noticed that Grace was sleeping soundly as well holding the bunny she had brought. Olivia panned the room once more looking at these sleeping girls. Her heart was in her throat as she felt herself beginning to sob.

"Detective Benson, I know it's hard. It's hard for me too. I have three girls myself, ages 6, 4 and 1. I don't know what I would do if something like this happened to my kids. Thank God we have people like you working to keep criminals off the streets. I just hope these girls can find peace again and have some semblance of a childhood."

Olivia thanked her and exited the room. She looked at the time. 2:25 p.m. She had enough time to go home and get ready for her evening with Sam. Once she got in the car, she called Sam.

"Hello Gorgeous," he answered.

"Hi Sam."

"Please tell me your not calling to cancel."

"No, Sam, just calling to confirm."

"Fantastic!" Sam exclaimed.

"You're still picking me up at five?"

"Yes ma'am. Wear something for the weather; we're going to be outdoors for a bit of the date. Is that ok Olivia?"

"Yes, sounds great Sam!" She tried to match his excitement but it was in vein. Neither her head, nor her heart was into this date. Sam was a nice man and as much as she tried over the last two months, she just wanted it to end. End like all the other relationships that were tried and failed. "See you at five." She said as she ended the call. Olivia drove the distance to her apartment and headed inside. She quickly undressed and took a shower. She dried her hair, applied a light layer of make-up and slashed herself with a little perfume. She decided on a pair of jeans, a grey sweater and boots. She took her red pea coat and black scarf since Sam said they would be outdoors. She looked at the clock, it was 4:50 p.m. and just then her doorbell rang. She peered through the peephole and saw Sam. He had a big smile plastered across his face. Olivia opened the door.

"Hey gorgeous," Sam said as he pulled Olivia in for a hug, "You smell wonderful."

"Thank you," she replied.

"Here, I brought you something. Open it." Sam handed Olivia a small rectangular box wrapped in Robin's Egg Blue paper significant of an item from Tiffany's.

"Oh, Sam, you shouldn't have."

"Olivia, Open it, please." She hesitated for a moment. Sam came from money. A fact that Olivia soon found out once she began dating him. That did not bother, nor impress, Olivia. She actually preferred the simple things. It was less complicated that way. Olivia untied the white bow and took off the wrapping. She opened the box and was shocked to see a beautiful diamond solitaire pendant on a white gold chain. "Oh Sam, it's beautiful. You shouldn't have." Sam took the necklace from the box and placed it around Olivia's neck.

"It looks beautiful on you, just as I thought it would," Sam beamed, "shall we go?"

"Sure, let me grab my bag."


	8. Chapter 8

A FanFic by Iddyboo

0associated with Law and Order: SVU belong to Dick Wolf. The other characters are my creation and the story is from my crazy little mind. The story begins around the end of 2009. Possible EO, possibly not but hopefully you will enjoy! Special Thanks to MALove17 for being my beta showing this old girl how to post on FF! Please review and let me know your thoughts. I would love some feedback!

**Warning** This Chapter discusses a case involving children, please read at your own risk.

Chapter 8-

When they arrived downstairs, there was a limo waiting for the pair. The driver opened the door. "Ms. Benson," he stated as he tipped his hat and held the door open for her.

"Sam, you shouldn't have, Its so much."

"Olivia, you deserve the world."

Although they had only been officially dating for 3 weeks, since meeting a few months ago, Sam had grown very fond of Olivia. She was genuine, caring and humble. There was depth there; unlike anyone he had ever dated. He knew her job was strenuous, stressful and downright horrifying, but he also knew its what she lived for. Putting criminals away and ensuring victims had a voice and received support and justice. Sam really wanted this to work but something told him he must tread lightly.

"So what do you have planed for this evening," Olivia asked.

"I thought we'd be tourists tonight. I have reservations for dinner, ice-skating and a carriage ride. How does that sound?" Sam asked with a twinkle in his eye.

"It sounds wonderful!" Olivia thought about how she had never really taken the city in. Sure she had been to central park a million times but those visits included interviewing victims, investigating crime scenes or chasing criminals. She thought it might be nice to see it from another angle.

They arrived at Babbo for a little Italian cuisine. They had a lovely dinner with a few glasses of wine. Afterward, they went ice-skating at Rockefeller Center. Well at least they attempted to ice-skate. Olivia spent most of the night helping Sam stay upright. He readily admitted it was his first time on the ice. At one point Sam thought he had the hang of it and set off to show Olivia his newly acquired skill. He ended up falling and sliding into the side of the rink, they both began laughing hysterically and Sam virtually crawled backward off of the rink.

'Well I certainly picked the wrong sport to impress you" Sam chuckled.

"You did just fine Sam. I had a nice time. It was fun to laugh."

They ended up at 7th and 59th to meet their carriage driver. The carriage was decorated for Christmas and had warm blankets to cover up from the frigid temperatures. Their driver was named Mac and he was a funny guy. A short, stout, elderly man with a baldhead and leathered skin. He looked as though he had worked hard during his life.

"Is this you two's lovebirds first time in the city?" Mac asked in his very Brooklyn accent.

"No, we both live here. Just wanted to take in the city."

"Ok, well ol' Mac here will treat you to a real nice tour. I've been giving these tours for over 40 years. If I kill over, just be sure and grab the reigns …ha, ha, ha, ha…" Mac began laughing in his gruff smokers voice.

"Oh Mac, I'm sure you'll be fine." Olivia said.

They left for the V.I.P tour of Central Park South. They passed several sites Olivia had been before; The Carousel, The Boat Pond, Bethesda Fountain, The Bow Bridge and many more. As much as Olivia tried to enjoy the ride, she couldn't help but think about all of the cases she had in each area. Sam could see that Olivia had become disconnected so he tried to engage her in conversation.

"So, Olivia, are you having a nice time?" _He instantly regretted asking._ "I mean, did you enjoy dinner?"

"Yes Sam, it was lovely, and yes I'm having a great time. Thank you." Olivia replied solemnly. "I just have a lot on my mind. I'm sorry. I just got this case two days ago and it has been weighing on my mind."

"I understand. Do you want to cut it short tonight?"

"No, no, Sam, its fine."

"Well in that case, Olivia. I wanted to ask you if you would accompany me tomorrow to my family home in the Hamptons? We are having a get together with my mother, and siblings. It's nothing big, just Christmas Dinner, but it would mean so much if you'd come."

"I don't know Sam, I only have one day off tomorrow and I"

"Please Olivia, it would mean the world to me."

"Ok. But I have something to do in the morning, what time did you plan on leaving?"

"The dinner is at three so we will need Manhattan around one."

"Ok, sounds good." Olivia wanted nothing more that to spend Christmas Day with Emily and Grace but she did want to give Sam a fair chance. There she was in her early forty's and she wanted to be a mother and a wife one day. She often thought back to what Cassidy has told her all those years ago, "When you get married, and you will, as long as you have this job, your marriage with be an affair." Olivia never forgot what he said. It was a comment that was all too prevalent in all their lives. Munch had been married and divorced more times than she could count, Fin's private life was a series of "Let's be friends" or "It's not you, it's me." Elliot's 20-year marriage had dissolved and Olivia had her own series of train wrecks under her belt. She at least wanted a decent chance at a relationship and Sam was a good guy. He understood her job, or at least he claimed to understand. Plus, she really didn't know what to think of Elliot since he was encouraging her dating.

As the carriage made its way back, snowflakes began to fall. Sam took Olivia's hand in his and turned to her. He leaned in and their lips met. After a moment, Olivia's lips parted and Sam deepened the kiss. Time stood still for that moment. It was just two people, sharing a kiss as the snow lightly dusted them. As they parted, Olivia opened her eyes and Sam was smiling at her. She gave him a smile back and he placed his arm around her. They sat in silence as the carriage came to its stop at 7th and 59th. Sam helped Olivia down from the carriage and tipped Mac. "You folks have a great evening and Merry Christmas," Mac said with a smile.

"Sam, in case I forget, I had a really great time tonight," Olivia said as she placed her arm around his. They walked to the limo and climbed inside.

Olivia entered her apartment and placed her keys and purse on the side table. She checked her phone to see that she had missed three text messages.

Liv- girls are doing ok.

Just wanted to give you update

Fin

Hey Liv- hope you had a good day

Talked to my mom- call when you can

El

Detective Benson

Please call Mercy Pedi

Dr. Anderson

Olivia felt shear panic when she got to the last message. She immediately called Mercy hospital. "Yes, can I speak with Dr. Anderson? Its Detective Benson."

"Hello, Olivia."

"Yes, Dr. Anderson, I'm sorry I just got your message. Is something wrong?"

"Well we had a bit of an issue with Grace today and she was asking for you. She is beginning to have a hard time, she's uncomfortable and just the situation is not optimum. They are alone and we have not had any family members come forward."

"About that. I found this morning that these girls are related to my partner, Elliot. Their father was his cousin. He informed me there are no immediate family members so he's going to see if someone can come forward for them. I plan on coming first thing in the morning to see them."

"Ok, Ill let Grace know if she wakes up again tonight. ACS came by today and did an intake for them. They will be looking at foster care for them in the event no family member can come forward. They will be with us for at least another week, I'll try and hold off a little longer if you need time to check with family members."

"Thank you Dr. Anderson, I appreciate it. I will be there first thing in the morning before you leave."

"See you then," Dr. Anderson stated as they disconnected.

Olivia could not help but feel bad for not being there when the girls needed her. Why was she so attached to this case? Why these children? She had worked several cases during her career, but she never felt so attached to the victims. Perhaps it was because these girls were alone now, much like Olivia. Perhaps it was because they were related to Elliot. Perhaps it was because of Olivia's growing maternal need. Whatever the case, Olivia knew she needed them as much as they would need her.

Olivia got ready for bed. She contemplated calling Elliot but decided against it. That would wait till morning. Her thoughts soon turned to Sam and the evening they shared together. Yes Olivia had a nice time with him and that ice-skating, oh how she did need a good laugh and Sam provided that at his own expense, but there was something missing. Passion, need, desire, want, all of the things she felt for Elliot. She loved Elliot, that was true, but she was also in love with him. She loved everything about him. She loved the way he walked, she loved the way he handled the victims, the way he handled the perps, the way that little vein on the side of his neck bulged when he was angry or stressed. She loved the way he looked at her with such conviction. She even loved the way they fought. She was helplessly, hopelessly in love with Elliot Stabler, and she couldn't even tell him.

Olivia turned out the lights and climbed into bed. She lay awake, restless. Her thoughts drifted to Elliot. Was he awake? What was he thinking of? She thought about Sam and the trip she would be taking with him tomorrow. She thought of Grace and Emily. How were they going to manage without their mother? Olivia thought of her own mother Serena and what she would have been like sober. She even thought of Donald and the accident. She wondered how their life would have been. Would she have been a mother? They wanted two. As tears threatened, Olivia succumbed to sleep.

Olivia awoke Christmas morning to a city blanketed with snow. She began her day like any other, grabbing her cell phone.

Good Morning Beautiful

See you around 1

Sam

Merry Christmas

Thinking of you

Love

El

Olivia was taken aback by the last text. "Thinking of you, Love El?" she whispered.

"What in the hell is this supposed to mean, El?" Olivia stated. She was puzzled to say the least. Olivia got out of bed and went to the restroom. She grabbed her toothbrush and applied some toothpaste. Brushing her teeth, she went into her closet to pick out her clothes for the day. "tinking of you, wove el" she mumbled through a mouth full of toothpaste. She paced back to the sink, "reawry El, you picked a perfect time to tell me tis," Olivia managed to sputter as she spit into the sink. She finished brushing her teeth and took a quick shower. Olivia was so confused. What the hell could he mean by this, Olivia thought as she dried herself off and began getting dressed. Was it a casual "Oh hey, thinking of you, how's it going, Love ya" or a romantic "Hey, babe, I'm thinking of you? Love You, El." She began drying her hair, "God why are you doing this to me El?" she groaned. Olivia was in love with her partner but did he just open that door? Did he just crack it a tad to see what would come of it? Olivia finished dressing and headed out the door. She was off to see Emily and Grace.

On the ride over, she her head was a clouded mess. She tried focusing on the day ahead. She would visit with the children until around noon and head back to her place and freshen up for the trip with Sam. As much as she hated to admit, Olivia was not at all ready for a family holiday with Sam. But in true Olivia fashion, she would go and pretend to have a good time if it made him happy. She was always trying to please others.

"Look mommy, I made this for you at school today." A seven your old Olivia proudly held up a picture of her on a swing and her mother pushing her.

"See this is me in the swing and this is you pushing me way up high to the sky."

Serena looked up from her papers she was grading, took a swig of her drink and said, "Olivia, the quicker you learn to keep your head out of the clouds, the better off you'll be. Now leave me alone, I have work to do."

"Yes, momma," Olivia stated. She placed the picture on Serena's desk, hung her head and walked solemnly back to her room. Serena picked up the drawing, looked at it for a minute and then tossed it in the trash can near her desk.

"Damn girl," Serena slurred.

"Hey mom, I made dinner tonight so you could rest and enjoy your evening." Olivia was twelve years old and was so proud that she could help her mother. Serena walked into the kitchen.

"Olivia Margaret Benson, what the hell have you done? Just look at this mess. It's going to take me forever to clean this up. What were you thinking?" Serena was furious.

"Mom, I just wanted to make you happy," Olivia barely spoke over a whisper.

"Do you think this makes me happy? Do you think I like that my daughter makes such messes and then thinks its ok? Who's going to clean this monstrosity? Are you? Hmm? You don't even clean your room correctly. Olivia, do me a favor and just don't. Ok. Don't do anything that you think is going to make my life easier. Because since the day you were born, my life has been anything but easy."

 _Honk…honk_

Olivia realized her light was green. She turned into the hospital entrance. It was lightly snowing and the holiday lights were a glow. It was quiet and not many people were out. Olivia imagined that since it was Christmas morning, many people would be at home with loved ones, opening gifts, preparing dinner. But she was there, at Mercy, visiting two young victims. Two girls who did not deserve the cards they were dealt.

She headed into the hospital and up to the fifth floor. When the elevators opened, Olivia was surprised to see Santa and his "helper" passing out presents to the children of the ward. Olivia had seen these two before, "Well this is something I never thought I would see," Olivia exclaimed.

"Olivia, I had nothing to do with this. I was called and told my presence was needed, and you know I'm a sucker for the kids," the man dressed as an elf said.

"What, can't a guy spread a little holiday cheer? It's for the kids, you know. Ho, Ho, Ho!" Santa cheered.

"Well I never thought I would see the day that Odafin Tutuola would be dressed as Santa along with his sidekick elf, John Munch. I will say I am very surprised and very impressed."

"Well we aim to please, plus I heard there are two little girls that we need to visit." Munch said as he grabbed two gifts out of the bag. "Shall we?"

As the three headed into Grace and Emily's room they noticed both were awake. Olivia began, "Good morning little ones. Grace how are you doing?"

"Ok. I missed you Olivia. Why did you not come last night? Emily was crying for you too." Grace said pouted.

"Awe sweetie, I am sorry. Remember when I came yesterday and I said I would be able to come back today?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Well I brought a couple of friends of mine today." As Olivia moved to the side, Fin and John walked in with presents.

"Ho, ho, ho!" Fin cheered as he gave Grace a present to open. Emily began crying and Olivia went over and picked her up. Emily immediately cuddled into Olivia's shoulder. Olivia felt her heart skipped a beat. She needed this. She needed them. Emily slowly began to warm up to the bearded man. Fin was able to get Emily to take the doll he had extended toward her. She clutched the doll with her little arm. Holding steady to Olivia with the other.

"Grace and Emily, you girls be good this year and Santa will be back next Christmas!" Fin exclaimed as he and Munch were leaving. "Liv, we'll see you," Fin winked as he shut the door.

"Do you like your presents Grace?" Olivia asked.

"Oh yes, I love it. I always wanted a Hannah Montana Doll." Grace squealed.

"I'm glad you like it," Olivia replied, "And how about you missy, huh?" She bounced Emily a bit, "Do you like your doll sweet baby?"

Emily nodded her head. "She doesn't talk much," Grace added.

"I know, she's still a little girl. I bet you're a great big sister though. You can help teach her how to talk, and her ABC's and 123's, isn't that right Emily. Can Grace teach you?" Olivia said in a soft voice.

"I tried to be a good sister, but I couldn't save her from the bad men so I guess I am not that good of a sister," Grace said with tears in her eyes.

"Oh, no, no, sweetie, what happened is not your fault. Not at all! Those men should not have hurt you or Emily."

"My mommy tried to help us but they killed her. I know she's not coming back. But she did try. She mostly was a good mommy, mostly" Grace cried.

It was all Olivia could do to not cry herself. She took Emily over to Grace's bed and sat down by Grace. She looked into those big blue eyes and could not contain her own tears. Olivia was gone. She just held Emily and Grace, held onto them with all her might. She was not letting these girls go to foster care. She just had to find a way to hold on, permanently.

Olivia awoke to her cell phone ringing. It was just after noon. It took her a minute to get her bearings together. She looked at the two sleeping girls, one on her chest and the other on her right side. A nurse had just come in the door to take the girls vitals and give them their lunch.

"Hi Detective. You all were sleeping so good, I just couldn't wake them earlier but I have to get their vitals now, " the nurse said.

"Please, call me Olivia. I didn't mean to fall asleep. I've got to go soon."

The nurse checked Emily first. She had brought in a highchair for Emily to see how she could manage at feeding herself some small foods. After taking her vitals, she placed Emily in the chair and gave her some peas and carrots. She also placed a few pieces of chicken nuggets on the tray. Emily went right for the nuggets.

"Just what I thought kiddo. Right for the good stuff." Olivia said. Olivia could not stand chicken nuggets but had been around enough kids to know that they thought nuggets were the best things since sliced bread. She and Elliot had an in depth conversation once on the chicken nugget. Olivia told him of the special she watched and noting it was neither chicken nor a nugget. Elliot replied, "Whatever they are, my kids love em' and that's about all we can get Eli to eat right now."

The nurse woke Grace up as she was taking her vitals. "Olivia?" Grace asked.

"Yes, sweetie, I'm here."

"Are you going to stay with us today?"

"Honey, I would love nothing more than to stay but I have something I have to do this afternoon. I am going to do my best to be back tonight. If I can't get here before visiting hours are over, I will see you tomorrow, I promise."

"I wish you could stay," Grace said.

"I promise I'll be back as soon as I can, ok?"

"Ooo k," Grace replied in a hushed tone.

Olivia knew she was upset but she did not want to disappoint Sam as well. She said her good-byes to the girls and promised again that she would be back as soon as she could. Once she was out in the hallway, Olivia checked her phone. She had a missed call from Sam and another text from Elliot.

Hope I didn't freak

u out, I haven't

heard from u

call me please

El

Olivia dialed Sam's number.

"Hey beautiful lady." Sam said. "I'm headed to pick you up now. Is that ok?"

"Sam, I'm actually not at home yet. I am just leaving the hospital."

"HOSPITAL, Olivia are you ok?"

"Yes fine Sam, I was handling some casework."

"On your off day? Wow, that's dedication!"

"Well you know my work. There is always something."

The fact was, Olivia knew Sam knew she was a detective, however she really did not think he understood the depth of her job.

"Sam, I will be home in 20 minutes and then I will need just a few to change and grab my bag."

"Ok, well I'll be there waiting."

"Ok, see you then."

As Olivia made her way home, she was in a whirlwind of emotion. Although she had only met the girls a short time, she loved them and wanted to care for them. Oh how she regretted telling Sam she would join him today. Then there was Elliot. What was he thinking, what was he doing to her. As she pulled into her parking garage, she saw Sam holding a bouquet of flowers with a big smile on his face. Olivia rolled her eyes and thought, how can I let this one down easy.

"Hey georgous!" Sam said.

"Hi Sam. You know you don't have to call me that every time we talk."

"Well its true and I don't mind reminding you that you are beautiful each day."

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

"Can I come up with you?" Sam asked. Olivia hesitated for a moment. Sam had not been inside her apartment and one, she tried to remember the last time she had cleaned, and two, she didn't want him to try anything, although her holstered weapon made her fell a little more at ease.

"That's fine Sam, just don't judge me if its not up to par. I've been rather busy." Olivia chuckled. "Besides, I just have to grab my bag and freshen up. It won't take long."

As the two made it up to her apartment, the doorman to Olivia's building came up bringing a package and a giant vase with a beautiful bouquet of roses. The package was wrapped in Christmas paper and the flowers had a large red bow.

"Sam, this is a little much, don't you think?"

"This isn't from me."

Olivia quickly looked at the card on the flowers.

 _I have been a complete ass to you and I know that now. I have so much to say to you but I want to do it face to face. Please accept these roses and gift. I know you'll look beautiful in it._

 _El_

Olivia's eyes widened. She could not believe what she was reading.

"Well who are those from, do I have competition here? Are you seeing someone else?"

"Wha, Sam, no, this is from an old friend. I haven't heard from him in years. To funny! Let me just take these in. That guy…" Olivia played it off. Secretly she was screaming inside. She WANTED to scream, run, yell, jump, anything!

She placed the flowers on her kitchen table and put the gift under her little Christmas tree. It was the only one under the tree. She was careful to take the card with her so Sam would not be tempted to read it.

"Here, let me take those," Olivia motioned to Sam. She took the flowers he brought and grabbed a vase from the cabinet. She added the flowers and water and placed the vase on her bar.

"You've practically got a flower shop in here now." Sam tried to joke but he was seriously interested in who was sending Olivia, his Olivia, flowers and presents. Was it just an old friend, or was it something more? Sam could shake that feeling, but he still wanted that chance to win Olivia over.

"Alright, give me about 10 minutes and I'll be ready to go."

"Hey" Sam said.

"Yes?" Olivia turned and Sam gently grabbed her by the arm and pulled her close. He kissed her. He kissed her like he'd never kissed her before. There was passion and possession. She was his, if only for that moment. They kissed for what seemed like an eternity for Sam.

Olivia pulled away first. "Sam, if we don't hurry, we're going to be late."

"Let's be late." Sam said.

"Come on, let me go, I'll be ready in 10, ok?"

"Ok. If you must." Sam said, with a touch of defeat in his voice.

Olivia went in her bedroom and locked the door. She opened the card again and read it.

 _I have been a complete ass to you and I know that now. I have so much to say to you but I want to do it face to face. Please accept these roses and gift. I know you'll look beautiful in it._

 _El_

Olivia wondered what was in that package under her tree but she did not dare open it in front of Sam. That package would have to wait until she was alone. She placed the card in her top dresser drawer and went in her closet to change clothes. Once dressed, she grabbed an extra bag and placed her toiletries and a change of clothes. She knew they were going to East Hampton but did not know what the day would bring and decided she needed to be prepared. She spritzed herself with some perfume and walked back out to the living room. She found Sam sitting on the couch looking through his phone. "Ready?" she asked.

"Yes ma'am." Sam replied as he looked at Olivia. She was just beautiful and the simple black dress she chose to wear accented her curves nicely. She grabbed her gray pea coat, her purse and overnight bag. She almost forgot the gift she had picked up for Sam. She placed it in her bag and grabbed her keys. "Ok, I'm ready."

"Ok beautiful, let's go."


	9. Chapter 9

A FanFic by Iddyboo

Disclaimer: The story is mine but the characters are his. All Characters in this Fanfic associated with Law and Order: SVU belong to Dick Wolf. The other characters are my creation and the story is from my crazy little mind. The story begins around the end of 2009. Looks like Elliot may be working up his nerve to talk to Olivia?

Please review and let me know your thoughts. I would love some FEEDBACK!

Chapter 9-

Olivia and Sam made their way to East Hampton. The ride was quiet and Olivia decided she needed to respond to Elliot's texts.

El-

I don't know what to say

What is going on

Can't talk – only text

On date – u encouraged!

Liv

 _Ok_

 _I meant what I said_

 _Did you get flowers?_

Yes

 _And…_

I don't know what's going on

Confused

 _About what?_

About why the ozone layer has a hole?

El really?

What is this, us?

 _Love_

Olivia's heart sank, her stomach dropped. She felt flush.

"Hey Olivia, are you ok? Who are you texting?"

"Uhm, yeah, I'm fine. I, uh, it's a case I'm working on and my partner is asking me questions."

"You just can't stay away from work, can you?"

"Well Sam, unfortunately, my work isn't a 9-5 thing. It's a 24/7 operation. I always have to be available. Hey can you pull over at the next stop so I can use the restroom please?"

"Olivia we are almost there, just another 30 minutes, but if you need to pull over, I can."

"No that's fine. I'll be fine." She was not fine.

Olivia felt like she needed to breathe, run, get out of the car and just run and never look back. What the hell was Elliot doing? He encourages her to date, then sends her texts, roses, a gift and then throws out the L word. God she needed to call him. She made up her mind she would call the moment she got to Sam's family home, or at least the moment she had some alone time.

What was to be 30 minutes, ended up 45 and Olivia well let Sam know.

"Hey, chin up gorgeous." Sam told her as he grabbed her hand and led her to the front door. The house was quite large to say the least. It was fully decorated in beautiful classic holiday décor. It was a large farmhouse style home and appeared to be four stories high. The porch was huge and wrapped around the full length of the home. Sam guided Olivia up the front stairs and proceeded to ring the doorbell.

"Is that my baby boy ringing the door?" Sam heard his mother bellow from just inside. The doors opened and a beautiful older woman stood tall and proud.

"Sam, my son!" his mother exclaimed as she opened her arms to hug her child.

"Mom, I'd like you to meet Olivia."

"Hello Mrs. Larson." Olivia said as she extended her hand.

The next thing Olivia knew she was being pulled into Mrs. Larson's arms for a hug.

"Darling, I'm a hugger. We are going to hug this thing out." Mrs. Larson laughed in a boisterous manner.

She was over the top; one of those richy rich women whose vibrancy practically blinded you. She was beautiful but gaudy. You could tell she worked, rather, paid, for her looks. She seemed sweet but Olivia knew once your crossed her, there was no coming back.

"Sam, I'll tell you, this one is the most beautiful one yet. She is just simply gorgeous and that body. You are in such great shape. Just breathe taking! Sam tells me you're a detective? I have to say, I didn't think you'd be much to look at but boy was I wrong. Isn't that right Sam?"

"Wow, I'm not sure how to take that. But ok." Olivia said with a questionable look on her face.

"Well come on in you two. Sam your siblings are in the family room. The kids are playing in the snow and there's a surprise for you in the kitchen." Mrs. Larson winked at Sam.

"May I use your ladies room please? Long drive." Olivia stated cutting her yes at Sam.

"Why yes darling, let me show you the way. Sam, kitchen!"

"Yes mother."

Olivia's stomach turned. Oh god, she thought. He one of those! As Olivia made her way up the staircase, she noticed what she assumed was Sam's family pictures throughout the years. Some of the subjects had come and gone; however the basic family structure was there. All of the pictures had Sam's mother, his brother and three sisters in them. There were husbands and wives, children and grandchildren. As Olivia viewed them, she began to notice starch mannerisms within the photos. They were not happy family photos, rather posed images of perceived perfection. Olivia knew she was not going to adorn these walls and she was fine with that.

"Here we are dear. Just head down when you're finished freshening up. I want to show you off to the rest of the family. Sam's finally got himself a looker." Her voice trailed off.

"Jesus, talk about Stepford families?" Olivia whispered.

Olivia grabbed her phone and dialed Elliot's number.

"Hey Liv. It's about time you called me. I've been trying to get ahold of you."

"Yeah, I know and what is up with that?"

"What? I talked to my mom and found out some information on the kids. I wanted to tell you what she said."

"and?"

"And what? Oh and I wanted to tell you I was thinking about you and hoped you were having a Merry Christmas. How was your date with Sam?"

"El, what the hell is going on? Why are you asking me about my date with Sam, of which, I'm still on. Why are you acting so smug after you sent me those texts messages and the flowers and gift? The card, you said Love…"

"Wait a minute, Liv, whoa. What are you talking about?"

"Elliot, we were just texting about an hour ago. You said all those things. Why are you acting like this now?... EL?"

Elliot began searching his phone and he saw text messages back and forth as Olivia stated, although Elliot didn't quite send them. Elliot's shoulders dropped. "No, no, not like this," he thought. "Liv," Elliot began to speak, "Liv, I'm sorry. I had no idea. Liv, the last message I sent to you was that I was thinking about you and to call me. I did not send the messages today. I was outside with the kids, Kathleen and Maureen were inside with my phone. I know it was one of them. They just.."

Click. Olivia had hung up. She was humiliated, embarrassed, devastated. Olivia wrapped her arms around herself as she slumped to the floor. She began crying. She was so taken aback by all that had happened. Just minutes ago she wanted to climb to the top of the world and profess her love for Elliot, now, now she was backed into a corner of defeat. She was going to be alone forever. How could she remain partners with Elliot? How could she go in a face him each day knowing this was a joke orchestrated by two of his children? What was she going to do now? Olivia's phone rang.

 _Send to voicemail_.

It rang again.

 _Send to voicemail._

Liv-

You didn't let me finish

Please talk to me

Liv-

Don't do this

Don't run

Please answer my calls

Olivia set her phone to silent. She would have turned it off if it were not for the girls and the fact they may need her. Olivia wanted nothing more than to be there with Grace and Emily. God why did she come here today? Why did she go against everything she her head was saying? Why was she always so determined to try and please others?

She knew she could not stay in the bathroom all day and knew any moment eccentric Mrs. Larson would be looking for her. Olivia stood up and examined herself in the mirror. She grabbed some things from her bag and began freshening up her face. After she felt like she had erased all traces of crying, Olivia ran the brush through her hair and spritzed herself with her perfume. She was eager to get this dinner over. The quicker they ate, the quicker she could get back to where her heart was. Mercy Hospital Room 515.

Olivia made her way back down the winding staircase. She rounded the corner looking for Sam but ran right into his brother Doug. "Hello there, you must be the gorgeous Olivia?"

"Detective Benson," Olivia extended her hand. She had about enough of this objectifying shit and Olivia had way more to offer than looks and a body.

"Oh, pardon me, Detective Benson. Do you want to interrogate me? I wouldn't mind a good frisking!" Doug chuckled. He was much like his mother. Olivia did not know if Sam was truly from the same mold because he was nothing like these egotistical assholes.

"Cut the shit, where is Sam?"

"Oh, feisty, I like that. He's in there," Doug pointed toward the kitchen.

"Olivia, hey there you are. Olivia I would like you to meet my daughter. This is Sarah."

"Hello Sarah."

"Hey."

"I've heard so much about you. You are as cute as your dad said. I heard you're very smart too."

"Our little Sarah has already graduated and been accepted to Harvard."

"Grandma, I told you, I want to stay close to my mom. I don't want to go to Harvard. That's not my thing."

"Well, we can discuss that later Sarah. You are not going to embarrass me in front of company, nor will I allow you to put down your family's alma mater."

"Uhg" Sarah exclaimed as she walked out of the kitchen toward the sunroom.

"Sam, I need to call and check on the girls, may I use the patio for some privacy?"

"Sure sweetie."

"I'll be done in a few."

"Everyone, Jamie will being serving dinner in 20 minutes. Please be prompt to the dinning room." Mrs. Larson spoke.

Olivia felt like she was in a nightmare. Olivia had her own series of issues with her won family but this, this, took the cake. Olivia was your run of the mill average woman. Yes she liked the finer things life had to offer but at the end of the day a beer and a "dirty water dog" would suit her just fine. Olivia headed out to the patio via the sunroom. She heard sniffling and saw that Sarah was sitting on a couch crying.

"Hey Sarah, are you ok?"

"Yes, ma'am. Its just I hate coming here. My grandmother is so overbearing and fake. It just makes me sick. No wonder my mom won't talk about this place. It's a nightmare."

"I'm sorry you're having a hard time here. I know your dad is happy to see you." Olivia politely said.

"Yes, I know and I am glad to see him too. The only saving grace is that I'm riding back with you all and spending the rest of my break with dad. I have been here for two day and its 2 weeks too long! If you know what I mean."

They both laughed. "Yeah it is interesting. Your grandmother is very dynamic." Olivia smiled at Sarah.

"She's a ruthless bitch Olivia. Really lets call it what it is."

"I think I'm really going to like you Sarah." Olivia chuckled.

"Well we better get in here. She'll get her panties in a wad if "dinner is served before guests arrive to the dinning table" Sarah ended her best British accent.

"I'll be right there. I need to make a call."

Olivia pulled out her phone and was amazed at all the texts Elliot, Maureen or Kathleen had sent.

Liv-

Please

Liv- Look, I do fell the way they said

They just did what I didn't have the balls

to do

Liv- please talk, text anything

Liv- Tell me to go to hell

Something

Ok- Im going to stop.

Please though, I love you!

I do, I love you

I have been in love with you

Its always been you

Liv- Please

Im begging you

Talk to me

Olivia dialed the hospital number to check on the girls. She had only been gone from them a few hours but she still wanted to check. Dr. Anderson was off for the day and the on call doctor informed Olivia that they were both stable. Olivia tried to get more information but the doctor was not as forth coming and since he had not known Olivia's relationship to the case, he spared any details. Olivia asked to speak with Andrea the nurse. Andrea got on the phone and once the on-call doctor was out of earshot, she told Olivia more information.

"Ms. Benson, they are fine. Emily hasn't let go of her doll since this afternoon and Grace had sung me every Hannah Montana song she knows. She has tried about 50 different hairstyles on her doll as well. They are doing very well considering their circumstances and I cant help but think you are a big part of that. They love you and it shows. I think they look to you for security."

Olivia felt a smile come over her face hearing all of the things they were doing. She so wished she was there watching but when Andrea was providing details, it was as if Olivia was in the same room.

"Ok, Andrea, please tell them I am thinking about them and I will be there later tonight to see them."

"Will do, take care and Merry Christmas Ms. Benson."

Olivia ended the call and took a deep breath. She was going to need it to get through this catastrophe.

When she came back inside, everyone was gathering around the table. Sam found Olivia and asked her if everything was ok and was she able to take care of her business as he kissed her on the temple. She assured him things were fine.

"Ok darlings, lets all sit. Olivia, come sit next to me and Sam you sit next to Olivia."

Olivia felt herself cringing. The staff came in and began serving the appetizers. Olivia was taken aback by the formality of this family. She knew if was just a few moments before conversation began.

"So Olivia, how long have you been a detective? Doug asked.

"Almost 15 years. I've been at the 1-6 for about 10 years now."

"And what do you handle?"

"Well I work for the Special Victims Unit. We handle anything dealing with Special Victims, such as children, disabled, Sexual Assault cases, etc."

"Oh my goodness, I don't want to hear about this at my dinner table." Sam's mother exclaimed. "That is deplorable. Who would want that job? You must have not been a good detective to get stuck with that kind of work."

Olivia felt her blood boil. "Well Mrs. Larson, I am a great detective, one of the top ones in my field. My partner and I have the highest closure rate in the state. Meaning we solve cases and put the bad guys away. I am sorry that my work doesn't appeal to your taste, nor your lifestyle but what I do is important. I help victims of abuse, assault, I have children who's lives depend on us keeping the streets clean of perverts so forgive me for not fitting into your cookie cutter family."

Mrs. Larson's mouth hung open. She was stunned.

"Well said Olivia!" Sarah said. "Uncle Doug, aren't you listed on the sex offender registry too? Olivia you may want to look up Uncle Doug here. Right Grandma?"

God Olivia wanted to high-five Sarah at that moment.

"Sarah Renee Larson, do not ever let me hear you speak that way of your uncle. That was a misunderstanding he was punished for. My children are upstanding citizens and they are not criminals." Mrs. Larson bellowed.

Everyone was quiet or made occasional small talk during the rest of dinner. Olivia was so happy to see the pies coming out signaling the end was near. She had never felt so uncomfortable in her life. She was ready to go home before they even got there.

As the dinner came to and end, Sam and Olivia retreated to the sunroom. "Olivia, I'm so sorry for my family. I hope you can see past this and give me a chance. This is why I moved away from here and to the city."

"You don't seem far enough away! Sam, I'm sorry. That was rude of me. I should not speak ill of your family. But that Sarah, I love her. She has a little spunk!" Olivia grinned at Sam. "When are we leaving?"

"Well my mother wanted us to stay the night here and I"

"Absolutely not," Olivia interrupted. Sam I have work tomorrow morning early and I have to get back to head to the hospital tonight. I'm sorry but maybe I shouldn't have come."

"No, no, Sarah doesn't want to spend one more night in this house either so I'll tell mother we won't be staying." Sam said.

It was another hour before they were headed out the door. Olivia said her goodbyes (good riddance's) to Sam's family and headed to the car. Sarah was already packed in the back and ready to go.

"Well Sam, I can't say that I love her, but she is eye candy. I just wish she had a different job though." Mrs. Larson said.

"Goodbye mother," Sam said as he kissed his mom on the check.

The drive home was very quiet. Sarah was listening to music and Sam was focused on driving. Olivia sat there counting down the stoplights, trees, anything she could to keep her mind occupied. She did not want to look at her phone. She knew she would have to face Elliot later in the week but she was holding her stance as long as she could.

As they neared Olivia's apartment building, Sam asked if he could walk her up.

"I can manage Sam. I am just going to toss my bag in and then head out to the hospital. Here, this is for you." She said as she handed Sam a gift.

"Thanks!" he said, knowing that was probably the last time he would see Olivia.

"Hey Olivia, it was nice to meet you. Can I give you a call sometime?"

"Sure Sarah. Here's my card if you ever need to chat. It was nice meeting you too."

Olivia headed into her building. She was so tired and mentally exhausted. She thought about Elliot and the events of the day. She could not believe all that happened and just the oddities she felt within. She had to get to the bottom of this Elliot crap but first; she needed to get her priorities in order, Grace and Emily.


	10. Chapter 10

A FanFic by Iddyboo

Disclaimer: The story is mine but the characters are his. All Characters in this Fanfic associated with Law and Order: SVU belong to Dick Wolf. The other characters are my creation and the story is from my crazy little mind. The story begins around the end of 2009. Some content from previous episodes of Law and Order: SVU

What is Olivia going to do?

Please review and let me know your thoughts. I would love some FEEDBACK!

Chapter 10-

As Olivia headed up to her door, she stopped and checked her mail. She proceeded to the elevators to head up to her apartment. The elevator signaled its arrival and as the door opened, Olivia practically ran right into Fin and Munch.

"What the hell are you two doing here?"

"Hey, baby girl! There you are, we were coming to see you. We, uh, checked your apartment but your weren't there so we left."

"Uhm, have you two heard of a cell phone? Calling maybe? Wait a minute, did Elliot tell you to come and spy on me?"

"Olivia, we are New York Detectives, we do not spy. If we wanted to know something, we would find it. We don't need to spy."

"Can it Munch, did Elliot call you?"

"Look Liv, he was concerned that's all." Fin tried to save the day.

"Concerned? Or jealous?" Olivia spat. "Look guys, I'm sorry, since you're here, come up for a minute."

The three headed back up to Olivia's floor, as the elevators opened Munch spoke.

"Olivia, don't get mad at us but we were asked to bring something to your apartment, we weren't supposed to get caught though."

"Lord, what now." As they neared her apartment, Olivia saw a huge flower arrangement. "Guys, what's this?"

"Well we really don't know, we were asked to pick these up and bring them to your apartment. We didn't even look at the card."

The card. Olivia reached for the card on the flowers as Fin picked them up to bring them inside. Olivia opened the door and stood by as both Fin and Munch went in.

"Good lord, who died?" Munch said in sarcastic tone.

"My partner PERHAPS, after I KILL him!" Olivia exclaimed.

"Who are these from?"

"Well Sam brought me those today when he picked me up and then the doorman brought those up with a gift, assumingly from the same jackass who sent the both of you." Olivia said with a raised brow.

"Love is Strange, huh Fin, Just strange." Munch was ever so evasive.

"Look, I didn't plan on staying here long, I wanted to get to the hospital and see the girls."

"Liv its after nine, visiting hours are over."

"Shit, Fin, I really wanted to go and visit them tonight. I haven't even talked to Elliot about a family member taking over their care. I don't even know if anyone is willing. I just know that there is something I can't shake here. I know you both will think I'm crazy but I want these girls. I want to take over their care, be their mother. I just can't explain it and I have never felt so strongly about something or someone."

"Liv, one, I don't think your crazy and two, call the hospital. If Laura's working, she'll let you see em'." Fin said.

"Laura? Since when are you on a first name basis with Dr. Anderson?" Olivia asked.

"Well it seems that Dr. Anderson has a thing for men in red suits." Munch stated. "My partner has been to that hospital more times than he cares to tell. I think it's for, what did you call it Tutuola? Investigative purposes? Except, I don't think it has anything to do with a case."

"Liv, call her. John, you talk to damn much."

Olivia excused herself and went into her room to put her bag down. She changed clothes to a more comfortable pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt. She grabbed her jacket and realized she had left her cell on the table with the card from the flowers.

She went into her dining area and grabbed her phone and the card. She rang the hospital and asked for the 5th floor, pediatrics. "Hello, this is detective Benson, is Dr. Anderson available? Ok, I'll hold." Olivia opened the card to read it.

 _Olivia-Since you won't return my calls, I am sending you these and yes, I do love you. I have been in love with you for years. My girls had the balls to say what I didn't. Of course I would have wanted to say it personally. For that I am sorry. I hope you don't run from this and I pray that we can talk when I get back tomorrow. I don't want us to be at odds when we return to work Wednesday._

 _I'm sorry but I love you-_

 _El_

Olivia felt a tear run down her face. She was hoping Fin and John did not see it. "Dr. Anderson, hi this is Detective Benson. I know it's late but I promised Grace I would try and come back tonight. I just got in and I know visiting hours are over but can I still come? ….Really? …..They both are?...Oh, how sweet…ok, thank you. I'll be there soon. Thanks again Dr. Anderson…ok, Laura."

Olivia looked at Fin, "Well, it appears that you've made quite the impression on Dr. Anderson, I mean Laura, cause' that's what I get to call her now too." Olivia said as she winked her eye at him. "Laura said it was fine for me to come, both girls are still up and Grace has been talking about me non-stop. She even drew a few pictures for me."

"Come on, we'll walk you out." John said as the three of them exited Olivia's apartment.

"John, let's follow Liv there to make sure she gets there ok."

"Oh god, Fin. Just say you want to see Laura. Really can guys not ever say what is actually on their minds?" Olivia exclaimed.

"Most of us would get slapped baby girl."

"I guess so." Olivia said. "Ok, well I'll meet you there."

The three parted ways as Olivia got in her car and the two detectives got into their sedan.

"I tell you what Fin, Stabler is a complete ass. Did you see the way Olivia looked when she was reading that card? I don't know what the hell is going on with him. He should have told her months ago how he felt. Not allow his kids to play games with her emotions and lead her along. This is the last time I'm cleaning up his mess. If it wasn't for Olivia, I'd kick his ass."

"Who are you kidding, you couldn't kick a fly's ass John."

"You know what I mean. The selfish bastard is not even thinking of her. It's all about him, it always is. Personally, I think it would be a horrible mistake for them to get together. He has a lot of baggage and she deserves happiness, not the shit show Kathy would cause."

"Look I get it. I just know they are both grown ass adults and if she feels the same, then so be it. But if he breaks her heart, I'll be the one kicking his ass, you got that John?"

Both vehicles pulled into the hospital parking lot and all parties got out.

"Hey guys, I've got it from here. I think I know my way around Mercy." Olivia said.

"No problem. I'm going to get some coffee while lover boy here sees his lady friend."

"You suck at keeping secrets John."

John headed to the cafeteria and Olivia and Fin headed up to the 5th floor. When they exited the elevators, they saw Laura making her rounds. She noticed them and immediately came over to them.

"Hey Olivia, Fin."

"How is everything going with Grace and Emily?" Olivia asked with concern.

"They are doing well. Emily pooped out a little while ago but Grace is wide-eyed and waiting for you. I managed to tell her you were coming and she was giddy with excitement. It was nice to see her smile and laugh with all they have been through."

"Ok, well, I'm going in. Fin, I'll see you at work tomorrow. I may be a little late depending on what time I get outta here." Olivia said as she headed toward room 515.

Olivia tapped lightly on the door and heard a soft, "come in." Grace was trying to stay awake but was almost a goner.

"Olivia, I'm so excited your back. I thought you wouldn't make it. I missed you so much!" Grace whispered as not to wake her sister.

Olivia eased in the door trying not to wake Emily. No matter how many times she had been to see them, she still was taken a back by their appearance. Their bruises were at their darkest although their facial swelling had subsided. It had been only four days since their injuries were inflicted and only three since Olivia and Fin met them. Grace was unable to get out of bed due to the extent of her injuries. She would soon begin receiving physical therapy in order to begin walking again.

Emily had a cast on her left arm and a plastic cup had been cut in half and placed over her right arm where the IV was. She tugged on it even in her sleep but had not managed to get it off. Their pain seemed to be managed via IV medications but it caused both girls to drift in and out of consciousness throughout the days and nights. Despite their outward emotions, Olivia had worked enough battered child cases to know the girls would need lots of therapy and care in order to overcome obstacles and lead productive lives. She also knew that the avoidance Grace was currently portraying could only last for a little while.

"Hey there sweet girl", Olivia whispered back to Grace. "How are you?"

"I'm ok. Better now that you're here! What took you so long to come back?"

"Well I had a few things to do today and had to go with a friend out of the city."

"Did you have fun?"

"No, I would have much rather been here with you!" Olivia said as she tapped her finger lightly on the tip of Graces nose. Grace smiled and yawned. "Oh, no, it looks like someone is getting sleepy!"

"Olivia will you lay with me until I fall asleep?"

"How about I read you a book?" Olivia asked. Grace nodded her head and Olivia grabbed a book that the candy stripers had left for Grace to look at. Olivia settled Grace in her bed and then sat down beside her. She began the story "Once there was a tree…and she loved a little boy."

Olivia when had read the last page of 'The Giving Tree', she looked over and Grace was sound asleep. Olivia moved over to the reclining chair and sat back. She was exhausted from the day. She could not believe all that had happened. Sam, the trip to meet his family, Elliot, Munch and Fin, Emily and Grace…Elliot! What was she going to do about Elliot? Olivia thought about all of the good times they shared over the years. Although he was married, he was always concerned with her well-being. Despite his ridged exterior, he was thoughtful, kind and caring. He was a take-charge kind of man and Olivia admired that about him. She thought about how he acted when they were first partnered. He was always looking out for her.

 _"So you drove all the way uptown from the Queens Borough Bridge, dropped of the car, picked up the sedan, turned around all they way back downtown to end up here? That's a lot of neighborhood"_

 _"Stop acting like a cop"_

 _"Sure as hell wouldn't drive to Queens to save your ass."_

 _"Yeah you would."_

 _"I'll walk you up"_

 _"El, I'm not a civilian, I can protect myself."_

 _"Yeah, but your not a superhero also. Blink your lights twice when you get up."_

 _"You know we've been partners for years and I don't even know your blood type"_

 _"A positive"_

 _"How about that, me too"_

 _"I'd give you a kidney."_

 _"Not if I gave you mine first."_

She also thought about the heated arguments, when they were dead set against each other.

 _"Are you protecting her?"_

 _"You think that I'm covering for Hillary?"_

 _"Where'd you drop her off?"_

 _"Her mother's"_

 _"They're estranged"_

 _"She wanted to talk, and I don't like you interrogating me."_

 _"To several different locations, you're reaching"_

 _"And you've got blinders on, I'm the longest relationship you've ever had with a man, you've no idea how bad things can get when a couple goes south."_

 _"And eight years in this unit tells me I don't have to be married to know when an abusive man is escalating."_

She thought about all those times she saved his ass.

 _"Are you here to give me a hand?"_

 _"Well Cragen called me and after what you did last night, I was assigned to be your handler."_

 _"I signed the divorce papers."_

 _"Well that's a step in the right direction El."_

 _"I just didn't want Kathy to regret me."_

And when he saved hers…

 _"So are we ok?"_

 _"I…I just need space to disagree with you and not feel like I'm gonna lose my partnership."_

 _"You've never been gun-shy before."_

 _"Yeah well things change."_

 _"Well like you said, you're the longest relationship I've ever had with a man, who else would put up with me?"_

Olivia knew that she loved Elliot. But she also knew that she would not ever do anything to risk their partnership. Plus she wanted more out of life. She wanted to be a mother; she wanted a chance at her own children. She did not know if Elliot would ever feel the same or if they would even get to those crucial conversations.

Olivia looked at her watch to see it was well passed midnight. She knew she had to be back at work in just a few hours so she decided she better get going. As much as she hated to, she rubbed Grace's head and said "Hey pumpkin, I need to go home because I have work tomorrow. I will be back to see you and Emily though. Ok sweetheart?" Grace managed a sleepily "ok bye Olivia" before she succumbed to slumber once more. Olivia reached in Emily's crib to touch her soft check as she whispered "good-bye sweet baby." Olivia knew she had to leave but each time she did, she felt an emptiness that she couldn't shake. She also knew, no matter how hard it would be, she would have to call Elliot.


	11. Chapter 11

A FanFic by Iddyboo

Disclaimer: The story is mine but the characters are his. All Characters in this Fanfic associated with Law and Order: SVU belong to Dick Wolf. The other characters are my creation and the story is from my crazy little mind. What does Olivia say to Elliot? Can she keep their relationship professional to the end or will she fall head over heals with him? Please review and let me know your thoughts. I would love some FEEDBACK! Shout out to Liz! She knows why!

Chapter 11-

Olivia bolted up as her alarm on her phone signaled. It was 5 a.m. She felt like she just had gotten into bed and that was not far from the truth. Olivia had gotten home around one in the morning and she slumped down on her couch. She looked around her apartment and chuckled for a minute at the sight of three large flower arrangements. "No wonder Much made the 'who died' comment. Jesus, if I didn't know better myself!" Olivia was not one for flowers and really thought them a waste of money. "Why would you want to spend all that money on something that doesn't last?" She told Fin one day in the squad room. He had asked Melinda out on a date and went to pick her up some flowers beforehand.

"Look Fin, it's a lovely gesture, but what about a single rose and then a nice dinner and romantic walk, or carriage ride?"

"Liv, look, just cause guys aren't buying you bouquets doesn't mean all ladies don't like them. Worry about yourself, ok? I got this!"

Olivia laughed at the memory. Knowing her and Melinda had talked about all the wasteful things men tend to do. Realizing she was starving, Olivia ran down to the bodega/deli that was on the corner of her street and grabbed a sandwich. She had not had much to eat that day since Sam's 'over the top mother' had food prepared that resembled nothing of a traditional meal, or ANY meal that Olivia had ever had.

After finishing her sandwich she decided she needed to get some rest. She hated going to bed on a full stomach but her eyes were at half mass and as it was, she had to be up in just a few hours.

Olivia showered and dressed for the day, grabbed her essentials and headed out the door. She was hesitant that morning because she knew she would have to make that call, and soon. "Hey Elliot, look before you say anything else, I just want to talk about Grace and Emily"….Elliot it's Olivia. We need to discuss Grace and Emily. I cannot talk to you about anything else right now…El its Liv, what did your mom say?" She practiced what she would say the entire ride to work. As she pulled into the station, she did not see anyone else's car. She was hoping to grab a few minutes of peace in order to make that call. She knew it was early but Elliot was always an early riser. She knew he would be packing today since the family was heading back to the city this afternoon.

Just as she entered the precinct and placed her purse inside her desk drawer, her phone rang. She realized the catastrophe that had just occurred when as she hit the green answer button whilst Elliot's picture appeared. "Shit" she thought.

"Hello."

"Liv?"

"Yeah El."

"Hey"

"Hey"

"Uhm, how are you."

 _How am I? How am I?_ "I'm fine."

"Look Liv"

"Elliot wait, I have been practicing all morning about what I was going to say to you"

"Practicing? This can't be good"

"No, listen, El, I can't talk to you about that other stuff right now. Ok. I have a lot going on in my head and I just need to focus on Grace and Emily right now and getting some information from you and trying to find a solution for them. Ok?"

"Liv, I understand. Look I am so sorry if I have made you uncomfortable."

 _Who is this and what have you done with Elliot?_ "Ok"

"I never wanted you to find out like that, I wanted to be the one to tell you, ok. I just know my kids want me to be happy and they know you make me happy"

 _Blah, Blah, Blah, I can't hear this now…_ "Ok, El, can we just put that behind us for a little bit and focus on the issue a hand?"

"Ok so my mom talked to my sister Janice and we are 100% sure the girls are Stablers. The pictures Fin sent over from the apartment confirm their mom was Daniel's wife. So my sister has agreed to take them in until we can get all of this sorted out. She is alone now that her boys are grown but she says she can't commit to them for life. She also understands their situation and knows they will need lots of support and therapy"

"I want them, El."

"Wha..Liv, do you know what you are saying?"

"Yes, Elliot. I have never felt this way about a case, about the victims. I have spent each day with them since the attack and El, I just can't stand the thought of them being in foster care or being somewhere that someone isn't 100% committed to them."

"Liv, it's hard. With our jobs. What kind of support do you think you can give them?"

"I can't believe you just said that to me."

"Liv, I didn't mean anything by it."

"So it's ok that you have 5 children but I can't have any?"

"Liv, no, I'm not saying that"

"Oh wait, you had a wife to take care of your children, you really didn't do anything but make th.."

"Liv, stop. You're way out of line. I didn't mean anything by that, I just want you to make sure, that's all. Besides, what court would give a single woman"

 _CLICK_

That was their next fight.

Olivia was livid. How could he think for one minute she could not handle children? Was he really concerned or was he being selfish? Olivia didn't have baggage to speak of so did he want to keep it that way? She couldn't get the conversation out of her mind. She heard her text notification go off but she didn't bother looking at it. Just another "I'm sorry," she assumed.

A few hours later, she heard Cragen, Fin, and Munch coming into the squad room. All talking about their holiday while Munch was still trying to get Cragen to spill on a certain Ms. Novak.

"Now Captain, just come clean, are you seeing Novak?"

"John, although its none of your business, I can only imagine the daily torment that will follow if I do not tell you, so, yes, I am dating a Novak."

"Fin, pay up. I told you our Captain was robbing the cradle."

"Not so fast John, he said he was dating A Novak, not necessarily THE Novak in question."

"Good work Detective," Cragen said, "I have had the pleasure of seeing a lovely lady named Sally Novak, who happens to have a daughter named Casey. We've been seeing each other for about 10 months now, so tell me again I can't keep a secret John!"

"Liv did you know about this? You did, didn't you? You and Casey are best friends. I thought we had it better than that. Come on, Liv…you let me bet against this guy?" John exclaimed pointing to Fin as he was grabbing his wallet from his back pocket.

"Guys, this is why I stay as far away from your betting schemes as possible!" Liv stated.

"Thanks, John, now if you'll excuse me I have a certain doctor I need to take on a coffee date." Fin said as he did a player walk while exiting the precinct.

"You're disturbing," Olivia yelled to him. "Hey cap, can I see you for a minute?" Olivia swung her chair around as she got up.

"Sure, come in."

"Something bothering you Olivia?"

"Sort of. Cap, I wanted to ask you about something and I need to know if it's even a possibility and/or how I would go about it."

"Ok"

"So Fin and I got this case a few days ago. The Stabler girls."

"Ah, yes, Elliot's cousin's children. And I understand the mother didn't make it and there are no additional family members on the parent's side."

"Right cap. Well I talked to Elliot and his sister is willing to help out until a more suitable solution can be determined, and, well Cap, I was wondering how I could possibly parent these children."

"Olivia, that's a huge responsibility."

"Yes, I know."

"and you know it would have to go through 1PP, ACS, and I can't imagine they would let you do anything before or during the trial. You would have to prepare, get certified for foster care and then work on the adoption once everything was over and the girls were technically wards of the state. I know there would be a lot of red tapes involved too Olivia. Have you really thought this through? You'd be giving up your freedom."

"Cap, what freedoms do I have now? I am married to my job. I am here in this office or out on a case almost 24/7. I love my job, but I want more. I know I would have to make some changes and I would have to make adjustments but Don, I want this, I need this. I have been with those girls each day and my heart is telling me yes!"

"What is your head telling you?"

"Don, I would rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."

"How does Elliot feel about this? Have you talked to him?"

"Elliot basically told me not to do it."

"Did he say why?"

"Well, I didn't wait for that part. He started talking about me being a single woman and not being able to handle it. I just couldn't hear all of that."

"It sounds as though you have put a lot of thought into this."

"You know the crazy part, I haven't even thought about the logistics, I just feel so strongly about this. I can get a bigger place and I have all the money my mother left still so, I'd be ok. Ya know?"

"Well Olivia, I will support you in this decision. I won't say it's going to be an easy situation. It will be drawn out unless the trial goes smooth and we can get you in and out of testifying without question. And Olivia, I know once you put your mind to something you will see it through so, good luck to you. I'll be here every step of the way." Don finished as he gave the detective a hug. They had grown close over the years and although Don had to maintain his ridged exterior and balled them out every once in a while, he had grown fond of Olivia and wanted her to be happy.

Olivia thanked Don and went back out to her desk. She felt a little euphoric. She had a spring in her step and a big grin on her face right up until she heard him come into the squad room.

"Liv, why'd you hang up on me?"

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Well someone hung up on me and didn't let me tell them I was on my way home. Maureen and her husband are bringing the kids home. I got a jumpstart on getting back. Can't we talk about this?"

"El, yes we can, as long as you don't push your alpha male bullshit off on me!"

"Liv, look, I shouldn't have said those things. I'm sorry."

"Ah, a lover's spat."

"Shut up Munch!" they said in unison as Munch entered bringing coffee & tea for the threesome.

"Look Liv, can we talk? Privately?"

She didn't answer, just got up grabbed her tea and headed up to the roof. Elliot bowed his head and squeezed just above his nose. He knew this was not going to be easy. He grabbed his coffee and headed up to the roof. When he got up there Olivia had her back to him staring into the city.

"Liv, can you look at me? Please?"

She turned to him. He immediately noticed her eyes were damp as tears started to form.

"Hey, hey, what's this? Why the tears?"

"I'm upset El, that's what women do when they are upset. I'm sorry if you don't see me as a woman with feelings."

"Liv stop. Look, I know we have a lot to talk about. Can you just hear me out?"

"Ok."

"Liv, I want to tell you a story. A long time ago there was this kid who had a dream."

"Oh my God, Elliot, not the dream story!"

"Liv please, here me out. Anyway, this kid had a dream and he wanted to make a career in the Military. As luck would have it, when he was 17 he found out his girlfriend was pregnant with their child. He did the right thing and he married her. They grew up and eventually fell in love with each other and had four more children. Since the beginning, they had good times and bad. The bad were really bad. Then one day, this girl, this(he takes a breath), this woman, walks into his life and becomes his partner. Now he would do anything for this woman and he knows she would do anything for him. They would lay their lives on the line for each other and many times had to. Now, this guy knew he needed to stay true to his wife and family but eventually, the struggles became too much for them to overcome. He drank, didn't go home, sometimes stayed in the cribs, just so he didn't have to face the reality that he was failing, he had failed at something. But at the beginning of each day and the end of each day, there was this woman. She protected him, she scolded him, showed him how to be kind, soft and more importantly humble. Now he's divorced and should be happy but he's not. He's not happy because he's in love with the girl, the woman, who changed him. Who made him see although there is good and bad in the world, you can handle anything with the right person at your side. Your equal, someone to walk with you, not in front and not behind. But someone right by your side. Liv, I love you. I'm in love with you! But I will wait for you. I will put my feelings aside and be there for you as I always have. I will support you in your decisions and I will be there for you if and when needed. I promise you that my feelings with never change and I pray that one day you will let me show you how happy you make me. I want to be the man that you deserve and the man that is lucky enough to have you. And I'm so sorry for what happened this weekend. I know my girls meant well and they were only prodding me to do what I've needed to do for quite some time."

Olivia stood there as the tears poured from her eyes. She was speechless. She had never heard Elliot speak like this. Frankly, she never thought he was that much of a romantic.

"Liv? Do you have anything to say, you are scaring me here."

She cleared her throat, "Uhm, El, I don't know what to say. I do love you as well but I need to get my priorities in order. I don't know if you want the same things as I. I know you are not keen on me wanting the gi"

"Liv, please," Elliot interrupted. "Did you just not hear me? I will support you in whatever you want to do. I will wait for you. My only prayer is that one day you'll be there on the other side."

"El, can we still be partners? I mean can we handle the job as we always have knowing how we feel? Can you really handle not acting on your feelings?"

"I'm not going to lie, it is not going to be easy but I wouldn't want to be partnered with anyone else. I can't believe I'm saying this but, let's just take this as it comes ok? Can we do that?"

"On one condition."

"What?"

"No more flowers, EVER!"

"Not a problem."


	12. Chapter 12

A FanFic by Iddyboo

Disclaimer: The story is mine but the characters are his. All Characters in this Fanfic associated with Law and Order: SVU belongs to Dick Wolf. The other characters are my creation and the story is from my crazy little mind. A little fluff and filler! How does Elliot deal with the nothingness? Please review and let me know your thoughts. I would love some FEEDBACK! Shout out to Liz! She knows why!

Chapter 12-

A month had passed since that day in the office. Olivia and Elliot were on autopilot, handling cases with their normal good cop, bad cop routine. That night, he and Olivia were working a case when Maureen called to say she was in labor. Elliot was over the moon with excitement. He figured he had a while before he needed to get to the hospital but that was not the case. Katelyn Elizabeth made her appearance just an hour after Maureen was admitted. She called her dad to let him know his 7 lb. 5 oz. granddaughter was a January baby by 3 minutes.

It was snowing heavily as Elliot dropped Olivia off at her apartment and headed to the hospital. He was met by Kathy and a guy he hadn't seen before, "Hey Elliot, this is Steven," Kathy said in a smug tone. "We've been dating." Elliot assumed she was trying to make him upset or jealous, however, he was neither.

"Steven," Elliot said as he extended his hand, "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise, " Steven said.

"Is Mo ok?"

"Yes, Elliot, she's fine. She did great and the baby is beautiful. You can go in, she's expecting you." Kathy said.

Elliot knocked lightly on the door and heard Mo say come in. He entered and his heart melted at the scene of his first-born baby girl with her first-born baby girl. Elliot had tears in his eyes.

"Oh Mo, just look at her. She is beautiful." Katelyn had a chubby little face with pouty pink lips. She had the bluest eyes and a dimple on her left check. Her blonde hair lightly dusted her otherwise bald head. She was the spitting image of Maureen when she was born. Elliot was in awe.

"Daddy, where's Olivia?"

"Huh, oh, I dropped her off at her apartment."

"Oh, she didn't want to come?" Maureen said with a slight tone of disappointment.

"Mo, to be honest, I didn't even ask her." Elliot felt like a total ass.

"Dad, I thought you were in love with her? Why do you keep shutting her out?" Maureen asked.

"I didn't think I was, I don't know Mo. I just don't know if that will ever happen, she's focused on getting Grace and Emily, I don't know what we are doing anymore, it's like we are just going through the motions of our partnership. We only discuss work."

"Is she seeing anyone?"

"I don't think so."

"You don't think so, Dad, you should know these things. You've got to try harder. Pardon my language Dad but you need to grow a pair and stop being such a pussy."

"Maureen!" Elliot raised his voice. The sound made Katelyn squirm in her mother's arms.

"Shh, Shh, Shh, baby, it's ok. Grandpa is just being a turd. Dad, don't make me have this conversation with you again. Get off your ass! Now sit down and hold your granddaughter."

"Which is it Mo, on my ass or off my ass?" Elliot joked trying to lighten the mood.

Across town, Olivia was settling in for the evening. Grace and Emily were released from the hospital last week as Dr. Anderson said there was no physical reason she could keep them there. Elliot's sister Janice had taken the girls in. She was an older woman who had raised her children. She wasn't excited about having little ones again, but since they were family, she agreed to take them until Olivia could take her classes with ACS and get approved for foster care. Olivia was looking for a new apartment in her building that would be suitable for the three of them. There was a recent vacancy on the next floor and it was a four bedroom. Olivia knew she didn't need that much room but thought it would be nice to have a guest room as well. She was going to see the place the following day and was getting overly excited about the opportunity.

After a relaxing bath, Olivia put on some yoga pants and a t-shirt. She went into the kitchen and poured a small glass of wine. She shifted through the binder ACS provided her and ensured all of her paperwork was completed. Olivia was already CPR trained and since she had continuing education hours around child development, adolescent victims and alcohol and drug training, she only lacked the training for dispensing medications for children and parenting a non-biological child. These were classes that aimed to help you build a relationship with the child in your home and also a guide to follow in the event you needed to dispense medications to the child. There were certain forms that needed to be completed for a home study and Olivia wanted to get the larger place so she could have everything ready. She hadn't fully told the girls that she was trying to get them, however, Grace asked her every time she visited. "Can we come live with you," or "Will you be our new mommy," were the typical questions she asked of Olivia. Emily obviously loved Olivia and would just cling to her during the visits and cry when Olivia had to leave. When they went to live with Janice, both girls just cried to be with Olivia. That broke her heart more than anything. She felt like she was abandoning them although she assured them each time she would see them again soon.

Olivia was getting sleepy and decided it was time for bed. As normal, she locked up and checked twice, secured her gun and grabbed her cell and headed to her room. She had a busy day ahead and wanted to ensure she had everything together and would be up on time. She heard her phone vibrate on the nightstand.

Hey Liv-

Whatcha' think?

El

Next came a picture of a newborn Katelyn in her mother's arms.

She's a beauty

Reminds me of MO-

Look I'm sorry that I

Did not ask you to come

To the hospital

El-

It's no problem

That's a family thing

Liv-

What do you mean?

I consider you family

Ok- Goodnight El

Long day tomorrow

Elliot made his way home through the snowstorm as he thought about where his life was going. He knew he loved Olivia and would give anything just to be with her. He also knew she was focused elsewhere and that nothing was going to stop that woman from becoming a mother. But as much as he loved her and wanted her to be happy, Elliot couldn't help but see everyone else around him was moving on. Mo was married and had just made him a grandfather. Kathleen and Chris were moved in together and doing well, hell even Dickie and Lizzie had their own things going. Eli was the only one that seemed to need him but even that was on a part-time basis. Elliot thought and decided, the best way he could show Olivia his love would be supporting her through her journey and being there when she needed him the most.

As morning came, Olivia was up and ready to get her day going. She and Elliot were off for the next two days and she was already thinking about seeing the potential new apartment and getting everything ready. If all went well, she was prepared to make the offer on the apartment and do some shopping to ready for her home visit later in the month. As she fixed herself a cup of tea, there was a knock at her door.

"Elliot! Hey is everything ok? What are you doing here?"

"Well good morning to you too missy. Everything is fine. I just brought by some breakfast and wanted to offer my services of apartment hunting and shopping as needed."

"Oh, El. You didn't have to do this. I can manage on my own."

"Olivia, I know you can do all of this alone, I just want you to know you don't have to. I would love nothing more than to support you today and be here if you need anything. Can you let me at least do that?"

"Sure," Olivia said as she stepped aside and let Elliot in. "Now what did you bring me? I'm starving."

Olivia knew how she felt about Elliot and thought she knew how he felt about her. She knew she had asked him to take things slow but she did not realize that she had slowed it down so much it was non-existent. There was a lot going on at the moment with work and her personal situation, it seemed there was not time for much more. As they sat and ate their muffins, Elliot could not help but stare at Olivia. It amazed him how much different she was sitting across from him at her bar than she was sitting across from him at the office. There she was Detective Benson. A woman always waiting for the shoe to drop, on guard, focused almost ridged. But here, in her apartment, she was breathtaking. She was soft, relaxed, happy, her eyes lit up when she talked about Grace and Emily and how happy she was at the opportunity to become their mother.

"So tell me about the apartment," Elliot said as he sipped his coffee.

"Well, I was vacated last month and they have been remodeling it since. The owners were transferred to Texas for their jobs. They are eager to sell but knew they had to make some updates in order to make it marketable. Those were finished up last week and I am the first one to get to look at it. God, Elliot, I pray it works out. I love this building and know everyone here, the school is close and it just feels right ya know?"

Elliot just smiled while listening to her talk. "Liv, I can't wait to see it. How much are they asking for it?"

"950,000." She replied, Elliot almost spit out his coffee. "Jesus, Liv, that's almost a million dollars. That's like three times this place!"

"Yeah I know, but just wait till you see it. Besides there are only four units on that floor, they are huge and each one has a large balcony with outdoor space. It would be a perfect place to raise a family. Besides Elliot, I still have the money my mother left and I figure its time to put some of it to use."

"Well, what time to we get to see this shack?"

Olivia chuckled, "In 30 minutes."

The pair finished up their breakfast and coffee. Olivia excused herself and went to finish gathering the things she needed for the day. She had everything in order to make her offer, a list of things she would need for the girl's bedrooms and a list of questions she had for the agent. Olivia placed all of her things in her tote bag and asked Elliot if he was ready.

"Yep, let's go!"

They headed to the elevator and went up a floor.

"God that took forever," Elliot joked as the elevator doors opened. Mark, Olivia's agent was there to greet them. "Good morning Olivia," Mark said.

"Hey Mark, this is my partner, Elliot Stabler." Elliot and Mark shook hands.

"Well Miss Olivia, are you ready to see your new home?"

Olivia's heart skipped a beat as her emotions overcame her. She knew it was just an apartment, but this was something more, this could be her home, a home, where she would raise her children. Olivia took a deep breath.

"I'm ready!" Olivia said holding back tears.

Mark opened the door and stepped aside to allow Elliot and Olivia to enter. Right away they both looked at each other in disbelief.

"Wholly smokes!" Elliot said.

"Oh, El. Wow, this is lovely."

The entry was similar to Olivia's apartment, however much grander. There was a large entry foyer that had wall-to-wall built-ins. Olivia imagined it full with jackets, backpacks and dance bags. The foyer opened up to a decent sized living/dining combination with the kitchen on the back wall in the middle. It was separated from the rest of the grand room by a bar with optional seating on the other side. The gray walls and the white crown molding gave a nice contrast. The wood floors were a deep dark brown color throughout the apartment. Off to the left was a master bedroom with an en-suite. To the right, there was a hallway that accessed the additional three bedrooms, laundry room, and bathroom. Olivia was excited about having a laundry room, even though it was just big enough for a washer and dryer. The bedrooms were just the right size for children and had ample closet space with built-ins. Olivia imagined each one that the girls would occupy. She envisioned them filled with toys and anything pink! It seemed to be both of their favorite colors.

"Well, Liv, what do you think? Can you see yourself living here?"

"Yeah, El, I can."

As they made their way back into the living area, Mark was waiting for them.

"Well, Olivia, what do you think? Can you see yourself living here?"

"Um, that's creepy, that is the exact thing he just said," Olivia said as she pointed toward Elliot.

"Hey great minds think alike," Elliot said with a raised brow.

"Scary," Olivia said as she walked toward Mark. "Ok, so if I am ready to make an offer, what do I need to do?"

"Well, we can head down to your place and fill out the paperwork. I'll put the offer in and we can go from there. I assume you'll want to put your place on the market once your offer is accepted."

"Ok, that sounds good."

The three of them headed down to Olivia's apartment. Once all of the paperwork was done and Mark had left, Olivia and Elliot decided to get a bite to eat. They headed to the diner they always went to.

"Hey, Detectives!"

"Hi April, how have you been?"

"Good, Olivia. I haven't seen you two in over a month. Been busy?"

"You could say that. This one just became a grandpa."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes ma'am," Elliot said, "Take a look at the most beautiful baby in the world." Elliot held out his cell phone.

"Wow, gramps, she's a cutie! I bet you'll be wrapped around that finger soon. So you guys want the usual?"

"Yes, that's fine," Olivia said.

Olivia pulled out her planner and looked at her list of things she wanted to look for.

"El, can I ask you something? Do you think I'm doing the right thing here?"

"How so?"

"Well, I mean you don't think I'm crazy for wanting to adopt the girls? Do you?"

"No Liv, I don't. I think that those kids would be lucky to have you as a mother. I know that you want this more than anything. You are very selfless, loving and caring. I think you'd be an amazing mother. But can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"I really hope that someday you'll let me be a part of your lives. Not just as your work partner."

"El, all I ask is that you let me get through this. I love you with all my heart but I need to do this for myself ok? I need this." Olivia did not want to cry. Lately, her emotions had been getting the better of her. She knew once things we settled she would be able to give Elliot a chance and after all, she loved him, God did she love him.

"I'll be here when you're ready, Ok?" Elliot winked.

"Ok," Olivia smiled as she bit her bottom lip.

"Here we are, Detectives. Let me know if I can get your anything else."

"Thanks, " they said in unison.

As they finished their lunch, Olivia's phone rang.

"Benson. Hi, Mark, that was fast. Did they? Great news. What? My place? Really? Ok. Um …Sure ….Ok that's fine. I'll see you tomorrow. Ok, no problem."

"Well?"

"Holy shit Elliot. I'm shaking. Mark said they accepted my offer and he's already got an offer on my place. He's going to stop by tomorrow and have me go over everything for both places. Oh my God! This is crazy."

"Calm down, Liv, calm down. This is how you wanted it to go right? It is perfect."

"Don't say perfect, El. That freaks me out even more."

"Ok, well then, it's great."

"Yeah, it is great!"

After paying their tab, the pair headed to do some shopping. Olivia drug Elliot to every store she could. She was giddy with excitement. He couldn't keep his eyes off her as she hopped from isle to isle and although he didn't think it possible, he fell in love with her more. As the day came to an end, Olivia had ordered furniture for the girl's rooms, purchased bedding and all of the other things she would need to ready her home for the inspection. If all went well, she could be moved into the new place within the next few weeks. Elliot and Olivia headed back to her apartment both exhausted from the day.

"El, I don't remember the last time I did that much shopping."

"Liv, I don't think you ever have done that much shopping. God on our worst day, I don't even think we exhausted that much energy chasing perps."

"Well, it was worth it, right?"

"Yes, it was."

When they arrived at Olivia's building, Elliot helped her take up all of the things she had purchased. Olivia excused herself and went into her bedroom to freshen up. She changed clothes into her yoga pants and t-shirt and pulled her hair up in a ponytail. As she headed back out, she heard Elliot saying goodbye to someone.

"Was someone here?"

"Oh no, that was Mo. She is getting to go home tomorrow and she wanted to see if I could come over. She wanted me to bring you as well."

"Ok, that will be nice. Once Mark leaves I can call you if that's ok."

"Yeah, yeah, that's fine."

There was silence.

"ok, w.."

"Li.."

They both began to speak.

"You go first."

"Liv, you look beautiful tonight. I mean, today. Well always, but especially today. I was watching you shop today and saw how excited you were, it just made me so happy for you and made me realize just how much I love you," Elliot said as he moved closer to her.

Olivia swallowed hard. She was beginning to shake inside. She had butterflies in her stomach.

"El, thank you. Thank you for going with me today and for…," Olivia went silent as her lips were captured by his. It was just a peck at first. But Olivia allowed her lips to part. She let out a moan as his warm tongue entered her mouth. She felt the strength of Elliot's arms as they wrapped around sending a current running through her body. The kiss felt like it lasted an eternity. As Olivia became aware of what was happening, she broke away.

"Liv, I."

"No, El, it was perfect."

Elliot could fell himself against his pants. Realizing just how that kiss had affected him. Olivia felt it too, although she didn't let it show.

"I'm sorry if I.."

"El, I said it was perfect."

"Ok, but um, it's getting late. I'd better get going."

"Ok, let me walk you out." Olivia smiled.

As she opened the door, Olivia spoke, "El, thanks again for everything today. It really means a lot to me that you're here."

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be," Elliot said softly.

"Ok well, I will see you tomorrow then?" Olivia felt like a schoolgirl holding on to the door while saying goodbye.

"Ok Liv, goodnight," Elliot said as he leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. Olivia felt the electricity once more and although she didn't want it to end, she knew she had to keep her wits about her.

"Goodnight, El. I'll call you tomorrow."

Olivia shut and locked the door. She turned around and leaned up against it. She felt like she was in a dream. She kissed Elliot Stabler and she liked it. She really liked it. She loved the way her body responded to him. She knew she had to keep it cool or she could fall fast and that was something she needed to take her time with. She could not risk ruining their partnership. Even though it felt so good, she knew she wanted to take it slow.

Olivia padded off to her bedroom to secure her gun and take off her make-up. She was finishing getting ready for the evening when her cell phone rang.

"Detective Benson."

"Olivia," she heard Grace's voice on the other end.

"Hi sweetie, how are you?"

"Ooookkk," Grace said as she drew it out. "Where are you?"

"Honey, I'm at home. Remember I told you yesterday that I had some meetings to handle today and I would not be able to come and visit."

"Yes, but I missed you."

"Oh honey, I miss you too. Does Ms. Janice know you're calling me?"

"No ma'am."

"Ok well honey, let's say goodnight and I will talk to you tomorrow ok?"

"Ok Livia, I love you."

"I love you too Grace. Kiss Emily for me."

"Ok Livia, I'll see you tomorrow."

Hanging up the phone, Olivia felt so guilty. She didn't know why, after all, she was trying so hard to get them. Olivia just felt like she was failing them by not being with them as much as she could. She knew Janice was providing them a safe home, but Olivia figured that was about all it was. Especially since Grace was up at 9:30 p.m. making secret phone calls to her. Olivia made a note to remind her to call ACS tomorrow and talk about when she could schedule her final classes. Olivia was just about to climb into bed when her phone rang again. Without looking at it, she answered.

"Grace, is that you again?"

"Um, no, Ms. Benson, this is Linda Scott, the Grace and Emily's caseworker."

"I'm sorry, Hi Ms. Scott. I was just making myself a note to call you tomorrow."

"Well I'm very sorry to bother you so late but we have a problem."


End file.
